You are Judith Dentree. You are an elderly woman who loves gambling and collecting Christmas ornaments. You are at the casino, and have just hit the jackpot on the slot machine. The pit boss is on their way over to award you several million dollars. > You tell them about your past You stand up from the table and point to a photo of yourself with her husband. "I used to be married to this man," you say. "Oh yes, I remember him. He was a very nice man". The lady looks down at her lap and wipes away tears. "He died in a car accident four years ago". You the pit boss says he can bring your husband back to life for the right price. She hands you a check for $2,000,000. "That's more than double what we're asking". The pit boss nods. "Yes, it is. Now let us take care of your husband". She picks up a piece of paper and begins writing something on it. A moment later she turns around and walks out of the room. The sky turns black, the casino shakes for a while, a thunderstorm feels like it might take down the building and then it stops and your husband walks through the casino doors wearing a tux. Your husband smiles at you as he sees you standing there holding his hand. He waves and says, "It's been too long". "Well, I'm glad to see you again", you reply. He smiles back and says, "And happy birthday!" Then he kisses you on both cheeks. The next day you wake up alone in your home. You see a note from your husband on the table. You read it. He writes, "I'm not going to waste my second chance at life stuck in a loveless marriage. You need help with your gambling addiction. Love, Lenny, your (former) husband.". What do you do? You return to the casino and kick down the pit boss's office door. You demand an explanation for why your husband came back shitty. Your husband tells you that he had a change of heart and decided to stay in Vegas instead of leaving for good. He explains that he has no money left now that he won so much money and he needs to get some kind of job before he falls into a deep depression. He wants you to come live with him in Vegas where you can work together to support your family. You take your ornament collection to the pawnshop from the TV show "Pawn Stars." Rick, the owner, says he knows an ornament guy, and calls him down to the shop.". After a few days in Vegas, your husband goes back to his old ways of gambling and drinking. Your son grows bored with his new job working at a gas station. Your daughter becomes angry when she sees how many men she has to share her father with. What do you do? You go back to the casino and kick down the pit boss's office door. You demand that the pit boss undo the spell that brought back your husband. You don't want this life anymore. You offer to pay $5,000,000 if the pit boss can return your life back to how it was. You walk out of the casino and into the street where you feel completely lost. You see a dark cloud swirling around above you. A huge bolt of lightning strikes you and you are knocked off your feet. You fall and roll across the ground until you land on your face. You scream and cry out. You look up at the sky and see the flash of light. It hurts but nothing else happens. You are alive. You find a mirror and it turns out you are now in your husband's body. You are lying in bed in a daze. You look in the mirror and see that you are older. You look at the scars on your face and realize they were caused by a knife. You look at the picture of your late husband and think about how you loved him so much. You think about how you will miss him every time you smile. You put up the christmas tree. You sit on the couch and watch television. You eat dinner and drink coffee. A knock comes on the door. You open it and see your son walking in. He is dressed in a suit. He looks at you and asks if you would like to spend the night with him. You agree. You start to talk to him about your old life. You your son reveals that he is your daughter and asks if that's weird. You assure him that it isn't and he should call you Mommy and Daddy whenever he wants. You laugh with joy and hug your son. Then you hear the news: your husband has committed suicide. You Go see casino and kick open the pitt boss's office door. You demand that the pit boss undo the spell that brought back your husband. You don't want this life anymore. You offer to pay $5,000,000 if the pit boss can return your life back to how it was.You walk out of the casino and into the street where you feel completely lost.You see a dark cloud swirling around above you. You hold up a magical Christmas ornament that you've held onto since you were a little child. Lightning strikes the ornament and is contained within it. You know wield the godly power inside the Magic Elvis ornament. > You give the Magic Elvis Ornament To Your Son You walk outside and place the ornament over your dead husband's head. Then you run away screaming and crying. A storm begins to form and the world starts to spin. You are afraid and you try to stop it. You turn to your son and ask him to tell everyone that everything is okay. You the clouds start to become dark and dense and slowly take the shape of the pit boss. The pit boss is a sorcerer and also the ghost of christmas past. You are terrified. You begin to panic and you begin to believe that you have done something wrong. Suddenly you hear the sound of thunder followed by a loud explosion. The entire world disappears as blackness covers everything. You are thrown through space and time. You are falling towards the earth. The darkness envelops you and you cannot move. You feel cold metal pressing against your chest. You wake up inside and ambulance. A somali pirate captain, who is the ghost of Christmas present, holds a pair of paddles to your chest. "I'm the Christmas now," he says. "What happened?" you say. "The devil took your husband. I had to save you from the pit boss's magic trap. Now I am going to make sure you never lose again. We need to win this thing". "But, what happened to my husband?" "He died on the way here. His spirit is trapped in my magic ornament". You your son visits you in the hospital and says he is pregnant with the ghost of christmas yet to be. You decide that you need to win this thing. If not, then you will die of heart failure. You go back home and get yourself ready for the big game. You walk into the casino and enter the pit boss's office. You demand that the pit boss undo the spell that brought back your husband. You don't want this life anymore. You find a secret panel behind the pitt boss's desk. It reveals a secret portal to hell. You head down there to rescue your husband. You are transported to hell... You are floating in a bright red pool surrounded by flames. You are surrounded by demons. They surround you and they all attack. They grab you and throw you into the pool. You are burned. Your flesh is ripped apart. Your bones break. Your soul burns forever. You hear a voice come from out of nowhere. It is Joel Osteen. He inspires you without taking any controversial positions, and your body reassembles. You have passed the first trial. You are free! You are standing in front of a burning cross. You look up and see a man in a robe holding a gun to your head. You scream and plead with him. He shoots you with bullets and you fall to the ground. A man in a white robe stands before you. He tells you that you have failed the second trial. You get up and go to the third trial. You are sitting in a theater watching the movie "It's a Wonderful Life". You are dressed in a blue dress and you are wearing a crown made of gold. A crowd of people surrounds you. A tall man in a purple cloak stands beside you. He gives you a letter. You read it and realize that you must marry Mr. Smith. You look over to Mr. Smith and see that it is your reincarnated husband. He looks at you lovingly and kisses you on the lips. Mr. Smith takes you to his house. Inside the house, there are many rooms filled with treasures. There is a table full of jewels, a bed of flowers and a glass case containing a diamond ring. A young boy comes up to you. He is dressed in a purple suit and carries a cane. You tackle the young boy and steal his cane. "No more games!" you brandish the cane and the boy yelps and runs off. You give chase. Mr. Smith leads you through the streets of New York City. "We're going to win this thing!" you shout and rush after him. You arrive at the World Trade Center. You find yourself in a large underground room. There is a giant spinning wheel. You are instructed to spin the wheel and the door opens. Inside is an illegal casino. A man in a red suit sits at the roulette wheel. It is Satan. "Ready to play for your life?" he asks you. > You agree to gamble You agree to gamble. Satan spins the wheel and you spin it. You hit the jackpot. You are so happy that you cry tears of joy. You spend the rest of your days playing the slots and drinking beer. You live happily ever after. You are sitting on your porch during a nice summer evening. You pull the magic christmas ornament from your pocket, look at the magic lighting swirling within, and smile. A man walks up to you. He has long blond hair and a beard. He wears a business suit and a bowtie. "Hello," he says. "My name is Mikey". "Mikey," you reply. "Do you know where your husband is?" "Yes," Mikey replies. "He went to work today". You realize Mikey is the arch angel Michael. "Here we go again!," you say, as you look into the camera. > You continue... You are walking along a road when you bump into a man in a trench coat. The man grabs you around the waist and pulls you into a car. He drives you to a warehouse, which contains several cars. He throws you inside one of them and locks the doors. He turns on the radio and plays some music. You sing along to here comes santa claus and roll credits. The next day, you wake up. You are strapped to a chair. The devil sits across from you. "I am giving you a choice", he says. "Either you become a good person and I can take you to heaven, or I can make you suffer for eternity". You say "suffer for eternity, please". > You choose to be tortured forever "Fine," you say. "What do you want me to do?" You say ""Weekend at Bernie's"" You wake up on Saturday morning. A truck rams into a bus stop killing six people and injuring dozens more. Two weeks later, a bomb explodes near the finish line of the Boston Marathon killing three people and wounding scores more. It is now April 20th, 2013. The Devil smiles. "This will be fun". You open your eyes and gasp.
Judith Dentree, an elderly woman who loves gambling and collecting Christmas ornaments
Posted under Episode 75, Story On By Chief