> You are a police dog, a beagle named Geoffrey. You can sniff out any dead body.
The smell of death is everywhere in the city. You have been trained to find it and you will not fail. You are ready for anything. You walk down the street with your handler, who looks at you as if he wants to say something but doesn't know what to say.
> You smell a dead body in a nearby Arbys.
You hear a loud noise behind you and turn around. A man stands there holding a gun to his head. He has long hair and wears a black suit. The man's eyes look like they could pierce through steel. His mouth moves silently and slowly while he stares at you. "What do you want?" he asks.
You say "woof"
and then point at yourself. "I'm a police dog". You say. "A police dog? I don't think so". "No, no, no," he says. "We're going to go to the hospital. There was a murder here. We need to get some evidence". "Well how did you know that?" "Because I've been working this case since last night".
> You go to the hospital and smell a bunch of dead guys.
You follow your handler into the hospital where he leads you to a room filled with bodies. They are all lying on the floor or on their backs. Some were shot, some stabbed, some bludgeoned. All of them are covered in blood. You sniff around the room and see a lot of bloody clothes.
> You search the bodies for dog treats.
You start searching the bodies for dog treats. You find several pieces of meat and bones. You eat one piece and feel better immediately. You pick up another and feel even better again. You pick up a third and feel even better still. You begin eating everything in sight. After about an hour, you realize you are hungry.
> You go to the dog bakery and get a hearty meal.
You go back to the hospital and get a hearty meal from the dog bakery. It tastes delicious. You finish it all before you fall asleep.
> You go to the chiefs office, he is fuming mad. The Chief says "Damnit you stupid dog, there was a 100 murders today and you didn't fill out any paperwork. Now the killer is still loose and there are 100 more murders!".
The chief of police comes running into the office. He yells "Get me the mayor! Get me the mayor!" The mayor comes running in too and sees the chief. "There is a murderer on the loose and we need help". The mayor starts crying. "This is terrible, we need to get rid of him now!"
> You hump his leg.
You grab the mayor by the arm and kiss him passionately. "It's okay, I'll take care of this". You start kissing the mayor's leg. "Oh fuck yeah, I love this shit!" You keep doing this until you both come together in a passionate embrace. "Fuck yeah!" you shout.
> You get Mayor a washcloth.
Mayor comes running into the office. "Hey, get me a washcloth". He grabs a washcloth off the table. "Here, put this on your face". "Thanks, I really appreciate it". "Now let's get rid of this bastard".
> You sniff for murder clues.
You run over to the door and open it. You smell a strong odor of fresh blood. You quickly close the door and lock it. You sniff around the room and see a few bloody footprints leading away from the room. You sniff around the room again and see nothing else. You return to the door and lock it. You sit down on the couch.
> You pick up the phone and order a dog pizza.
You call the pizza place and ask for a large pepperoni pie. You wait patiently for the delivery guy to arrive. When he does, you give him the money and tell him to bring the pizza right to your house. You hear the doorbell ring. You answer it and a very fat man wearing glasses answers. He smiles when he sees you. "Hello, my name is Mr".
> You continue.
"My name is John Smith, and I am looking for a police dog".
You say "That's me! need me to sniff out some dead folks for ya?"
Mr. Smith looks at you and laughs. "Oh yes, you are exactly who I need. I just got a report of a murder yesterday and I need someone to track down the killer. I need you to track down the killer". "How much is this job?" "About $500".
You say "ask for $50000 and say it's a deal"
> You agree. "Okay, I'll be right there". You hang up and walk outside. You walk along the street and suddenly you feel a chill go up your spine. You look up and see a tall skinny man standing there staring at you. He has dark brown hair and a beard. He wears a business suit and carries a briefcase.
> You sniff the briefcase.
You turn around and walk back inside. You walk through the front door and enter the kitchen. You notice a small black suitcase sitting on top of a refrigerator. You reach in and pull it out. Inside is a black leather briefcase. You open it and pull out a small key. You insert the key into the lock and unlock the case. Inside is a black leather briefcase.
> You open briefcase.
Inside you find a black leather briefcase. You carefully lift it out of the case and open it. Inside is a black leather briefcase. You carefully lift it out of the case and open it. Inside is a black leather briefcase. You carefully lift it out of the case and open it. Inside is a black leather briefcase.
> You are an airplane pilot bachelor named Tim Farts. You are exceptional at making balloon animals.
You laugh as you watch the balloon animal float away. You sigh as you watch the balloon animal float away. You smile as you watch the balloon animal float away. You nod as you watch the balloon animal float away. You grin as you watch the balloon animal float away. You wink as you watch the balloon animal float away. You whistle as you watch the balloon animal float away.