You are Mr Tasty an ice cream truck driver wearing a giant vanilla cone novelty costume. You are driving your truck around giving ice cream out to all who desire it. The next day you get the news that your sister has died and you have been fired from your job. Your brother, who is also named John, is in tears over this loss of his sister.
> go on a renegade ice cream related mission, steal the truck and the costume and start delivering free ice cream to as many people as you can
Your first order of business is to steal the truck and the costume. This will give you enough money for some new clothes so you don't look like a complete freak.
The next day, while driving around town in your truck, you see a man dressed up as Santa Claus.
> steal the santa suit of Santa Claus
You decide to steal the santa suit of Santa Claus. It would be a good idea to disguise yourself so nobody recognizes you.
Santa Claus sees you and stops his car in front of yours.
> offer to trade your ice cream costume for Santa's suit
You approach Santa Claus and ask if he might exchange his ice cream costume for your santa suit.
Santa Claus looks at you with surprise and asks "What do you want?"
"I just wanted to trade my ice cream costume for your santa suit.
>
I was fired today."
"Well, why didn't you tell me? I could have traded it for something else."
"Because...I'm sorry about your sister..."
"It's okay, it'll be over soon."
"
> put on the santa suit and start handing out ice cream to everyone in the park
You put on the santa suit and begin handing out ice cream to everyone in the park.
After a few days of this, you realize that you are making more than enough money to buy new clothes and food.
> buy a spite chocolate ice cream costume and open a rival ice cream delivery truck route that is exactly the same as your old job
You decide to open another ice cream delivery truck route. You call it Revenge Ice Cream Trucking.
You set up shop in a small town called The Hole where you sell ice cream to children who have run away from their homes due to being abused or neglectful parents.
> give a 10 scope ice cream cone to a child crying uncontrollably
You take a 10 scoped ice cream cone and hand it to a little girl who is crying hysterically. She takes the cone and begins eating it. Her mother comes running in to complain about her daughter's behavior.
> "no problem, hey are you by chance abusing this little girl?"
No, no, no! You aren't doing anything bad to her! She just needs a hug.
You put the cone back into its box and leave.
A couple weeks pass and you notice that your profits are increasing.
> steal more ice cream and more trucks from my old job
You decide to steal more ice cream and more trucks from your old job.
You steal a bunch of ice cream trucks and deliver them all across the country.
You make a lot of money but you are still broke after paying off your debt to the bank.
> quit and retire
You decide to quit and retire. You don't know what you're going to do now that you've retired.
The next day, you wake up and go through your inventory. You find some extra boxes of ice cream in one of the rooms.
> sob and eat the ice cream all by yourself and think of what you can do
You cry and eat the ice cream all by yourself and think about what you can do.
You try to remember how you got here...
Your eyes close when you feel like you need to pee, so you urinate on the floor of your trailer.
> go to sisters funeral that you completely forgot about
You go to the sisters funeral that you completely forgot about.
You go to the sisters funeral that you completely forgot about.
You stand outside the church holding a big cardboard sign saying:
YOU ARE A SISTERHOOD LOSER!!!
> dump ice cream on yourself until you drown in it
You stand outside the church holding a big cardboard sign saying:
YOU ARE A SISTERHOOD LOSER!!!
You look at your reflection in the window of your trailer and weep. You think about how much you hate yourself for feeling this way. You want to die.
> max out credit cards and buy a ticket to Norway
You grab a pen and paper and write down every single thing you hate about yourself. Then you fill up your carton with water bottles filled with urine and throw them out. You then walk over to the nearest gas station and buy a large amount of gasoline, which costs $1.
> sleep on the flight and wake up in Oslo and look around and the beautiful scenery
You sleep on the plane and wake up in Oslo. The sun shines brightly, the sky is blue and there are birds singing. It feels great to be alive again.
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