Jay Sam, American Scientist

Posted under Episode 4, Story On By Chief

You are a scientist in America named Jay Sams. Corona virus has spread globally and everyone is stuck quarantined in their homes. You have been given the opportunity to leave your home and go live with family, but you're not sure if that will be safe for you or not.

In order to make matters worse, there was an earthquake recently which destroyed part of the town where you grew up.

> find the cure for earthquakes

The only thing you can do is head out into the world and try to find a cure for earthquakes.

You set off on foot, following the signs of the earthquake until you reach a small village called Stonington.

> ask the village people if they know the cause of the earthquakes?

"I don't think so," one of the villagers says. "It's just natural."

Another villager nods in agreement. "Yes, it is. We've had these kinds of quakes before, but this time they were much stronger than usual."

> find the source of the quakes, a man constantly farting into a tuba sleeping under a bridge

You walk down the road towards a large wooden bridge over a river. A man sits on top of the bridge, fiddling with something in his hands. He looks like he's asleep, but then suddenly jumps up and starts playing an instrument that sounds very similar to a trumpet.

> "hey wake up and stop farting into that tuba, you are causing the whole earth to quake!!!!"

"Hey wake up and stop farting into that tuba, you are causing the whole earth to quake!!!!" The man wakes up from his sleep. "What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to stop the quakes," You explain.


He smiles at you and begins to play again.

After about ten minutes of listening to him, you decide that he might actually help you. You tell him what the problem is and how the earthquakes are getting worse every day. He seems genuinely interested in finding a solution.

> "the solution is we get you some beano and stop those gnarly farts my dude"

"Beano?" He asks. "Yeah, I used to eat them when I lived in Canada."

You laugh. "Oh yeah, those things are made from beets. They're delicious! I love 'em!"

> give the man a garbage bag overflowing with Beano pills and tell him to take the whole thing

You grab a trash bag full of candy bars and throw it at the man. It hits him square in the face. He doesn't even flinch as he picks up the bag and throws it back at you.

"That'll teach you to mess with me!"

> "i'm trying to help you and save the world! take these damn pills!"

"Take these damned pills?!" He yells. "What the hell are you talking about?! I thought you said you didn't want any help!"

You shrug. "Well, I'm not exactly helping myself here by saying anything...but thanks anyway."

> grab a handful of Beano pills and jam them down the mans throat

You grab a handful of Beano pills and slam your fist into the mans throat. He lets out a pained scream as you pull out two pill-filled fingers.

> wait 15 minutes and see if the pills work to stop the farts

You sit there waiting for the pills to work. You hear the man screaming while being choked by his own hands. Eventually he stops struggling and falls unconscious. You look around and see several other men still standing around watching you choke the man to death.

> kill off the man and end the reign of farts in this town

You grab one of the men who was sitting nearby and hold him against the wall. You force him to watch as you choke the man to death.

You leave the man's body lying on the ground and head back home.

> call the local news and tell them you've solved the earthquake crisis and that you'll work on Corona virus next

You dial the phone number that appears on screen. A woman answers. She sounds very young and nervous.

"Hello? Is this..."

"Yes, yes it is," You answer. "It's good to finally talk to someone who knows what they're talking about."


"I'm sorry, but I don't speak English well enough to understand you. What do you need?" The woman says.

"The man that was choking me just now died. I have the cure for all of your problems." You explain.

> invent the cure to corona and administer it live on the nightly news

"But why would anyone want that?" You ask.
"Because it's the best cure ever! And it will make everyone happy!" The woman exclaims.


You sigh. This woman seems like she has a lot of potential. Maybe you should get her to come with you on some future mission.

> convince the woman to help you bury a body

"Look, I know you don't speak much English, but maybe we can communicate better if we bury a corpse together. It'll be easier than digging up one." You say.
"Um...okay..." The woman replies nervously.
"Alright then! Let's go!"

> grab two shovels and head to where you killed the man

You grab two shovels from the basement and head upstairs. You start digging a hole in the dirt floor. When you reach the top, you throw in a piece of wood and begin burying the body.

After doing so, you notice something strange...


There are no more farts coming out of the man's mouth. In fact, you can't even feel any gasps or screams anymore. The entire house smells horrible though; it almost feels like rotten eggs are floating through the air.

> finish burying the man and light some vanilla bean yankee candles

You look around the room and see nothing else of interest. There's a bunch of empty whiskey bottles scattered about, but there's not even a single bottle left in the fridge.

> light the candle and walk it around the house until the smell goes away and pray that this man isn't haunting as a fart ghost

You turn off the candle and put your hands over your nose and mouth. You wait patiently for the scent to disappear. After a few minutes, you exhale deeply and take another breath before continuing.

A little while later, you hear a faint sound of crying coming from downstairs.

> go downstairs

You run down the stairs and find that everything is normal. The man who was choked to death was still alive when he died, so his body must've been lying in the basement somewhere. You quickly check every corner of the house and realize that there's nothing out of place.

> start smelling the room and listening for farts to track the man down

You search the whole house thoroughly and find nothing. You also try to locate the man by sniffing everywhere, but you can't find him anywhere.

The next day, you decide to leave town completely.

> start on the cure for the Corona virus

It would seem that the Corona virus is spreading fast throughout the world. You have to do something now, otherwise you won't be able to stop it.

You call up your old friend, Mr. White, and tell him what you need done first: The cure for the Corona virus.

> tell Mr White you've stopped earthquakes, you can stop the virus

Mr. White agrees with you immediately. He tells you to get the cure for the virus right away, because he needs to make sure it works.

> pull the cure out of my ass and say voila!

You pull out the cure and give it to Mr. White. He takes it gratefully and thanks you profusely for saving his life.

He says he'll contact you again soon, but then hangs up on you.

> call the CDC and say you've invented the cure, but Mr White has stolen it

You call the CDC and say you've invented the cure, but Mr. White has stolen it. You explain that if you don't get paid $10 million dollars by tomorrow night, he'll kill himself.

They ask where Mr.


White lives. You say he doesn't live here anymore, he moved to a mansion in Florida. They ask how much money you want, and you say $10 million dollars.

They agree to your terms and send someone to retrieve the cure from Florida.

> go to Florida and track down Mr White on your own

You head to Florida. It seems like everyone there is rich or famous. You figure you could easily rob them all blind and not even know it.

When you arrive at the mansion, the first thing you notice is that its huge. Then you see Mr.


White sitting in a big chair reading some papers. He looks bored.

You approach him and put your hand on his shoulder.

> "time to give me the cure big boy and also you owe me $10 million dollars"

You take a deep breath and slowly say "I'm sorry Mr. White, I stole your cure."

Mr. White's eyes widen as he realizes who you are. He grabs your hand and starts pulling it away from his shoulder.

> punch Mr White in the head and demand he show you where he is keeping the cure

You grab Mr. White's face hard and slam your fist into his skull. His body goes limp instantly and falls backwards onto the floor.

The door opens up and two men enter.


One is tall and muscular. The other one is short and skinny.

One man asks you what happened, while the second one orders the taller guy to tie Mr. White's hands behind his back so they can take him outside.

> tell the guys that you tried to find out what happened to the cure, but Mr White didn't tell you

You tell the guys that you tried to find out what happened to the cure, but Mr White didn't tell you. You insist that he must have stolen it and that he should be killed for stealing it.

> find the cure in your pocket and realize you've made a huge mistake

You pull out the vial of cure and look inside it. There is no sign of anything wrong with it whatsoever. You throw it aside and start running towards the car.

As you're walking, you hear a loud noise coming from your right side, which sounds like an explosion.

> ignore and drive home to replicate the cure for the entire world

You decide to ignore the explosion and continue driving home. When you get near your house, you feel a strong urge to just keep going straight home. Your legs feel weak and tired, but you don't stop because if something happens to you, then this whole world will end anyway.

> keep the cure for yourself and just go to bed and see what happens to the world without your cure

You keep the cure for yourself and try to sleep. You wake up feeling sick again. This time though, you really do want to die.

> take the cure for yourself

You take the cure for yourself and drink it all down. It doesn't work however. You feel worse than ever before. You fall asleep again, but this time you actually dream about death itself.

> make my dreams come true

You wake up and realize you've been dreaming about death since the very beginning. Death has always been there for you, even when you were still alive. But now, it seems like it wants more than anything to kill you.

> give in to death and die

Death is not going to kill you. Death will never let you die. You'll live forever, as long as there are people who believe in death.