You are Darius Kream, a space football champion. You have just won the Super Space Bowl and are going to Space Disneyland. You see on the news of a scandal that says you deflated the Space balls so they wouldn't be as hard to throw. The President is furious with you and has sent in his own team of space experts to investigate your actions.
> deny everything as you ride all the attractions at Space Disneyland
"I didn't do it!" you say loudly. "It was all my brother's idea! He said I could use some of the ball air pressure gauges for an experiment."
The Space Experts look at each other and then back at you.
> open your bag and show them the experimental air pressure gauges
You open up your bag and show the Space Experts what you found inside. They don't believe you.
"This can't be true," one of them says. "We've never seen anything like this before."
> "it's ok Space Experts, everyone makes mistakes. now if I could get your space apology on the space news tonight"
They nod their heads and smile.
"OK, OK, we'll put it on the news," they say. "But only after we check out your story about how you lost your brother when he fell into a black hole."
> "sure what do you need to fact check exactly?"
>
"Well, there's a rumor going around that you said..."
You think for a moment. "Oh no, I'm not saying that! It wasn't me!"
> "ok ok, I did say that I would throw my brother into a black hole if I won the Super Space Bowl, but I didn't mean it! it was a joke!"
"That's great!" the Space Expert smiles. "We're glad to hear it.
> get a 29 scoop ice cream at space disney because it's in space and there is no gravity a
You walk over to the counter and ask for a 29 scoop ice cream cone.
"What kind of flavor?" the woman behind the counter asks.
"I want vanilla," you reply.
"Um...we don't serve vanilla here," she replies.
> "ok what flavors DO you have? also I expect this to be free now, don't you know who I am?"
"Yes, yes, I do know who you are," she says.
"Then why the hell aren't you serving me a free vanilla ice cream cone right now?" You demand.
"Because our cones cost money.
> hop the counter and start scooping as much as you can
You hop the counter and begin scooping as much as you can. The lady behind the counter looks at you with disgust.
"Get out of here you freak!" She shouts. "If you were any less disgusting than you are, I'd give YOU a free cone!"
> run out of the store and ponder that remark. it really hits you hard and you burst into uncontrollable tears
You run back to the store and sit down on the sidewalk crying. You feel sick to your stomach. What did you just say? How dare you call her a freak?! And why did she have such contempt for you? Why couldn't she see that you were just trying to help her out?
> write a check for one million space bucks and hand it to the ice cream woman
You stand up and walk over to the cashier.
"Hey, I want a million space bucks, please." You say.
"A million space bucks?" The cashier asks incredulously. "How much?"
"One million space dollars," you reply.
> "just kidding! I'm giving YOU one million space bucks. and sorry again for the trouble I caused earlier"
"Just kidding! I'm giving YOU one million space bucks. and sorry again for the trouble I caused earlier."
The two of you shake hands and go your separate ways.
Related