Cory, a guy who has decided to start fighting crime

Posted under Episode 284, Story On By Chief

You are Cory, a guy who has decided to start fighting crime. You become Bucket Man. You wear a bucket over your head like a mask. You don't have any special fighting skills or powers, but you do have plenty of buckets. One day, you see Jim robbing Jason. You grab a bucket and hurl it towards Jim. It hits him in the face, knocking him out cold.

Meanwhile, Jason is still awake and he grabs a knife from his pocket and attacks you with it.
You restrain Jason with buckets of chowder and explain to him that you were saving him. He doesn't believe you.

"I was just doing what I thought was right," he says. "What about all those people?"

> You say "What people?"
"The people I've killed!"
"What people?" you say.
"There were loads of them. Brian, Kelly, Megan, Jennifer, and..."
"And your parents,"

> You begin to collect all of the dead peoples brains in your favorite bucket Bucket, your pet bucket.
"What are you doing?" Jim asks.
"I'm collecting the brain of all the people I've killed," you say.
"Why? Why'd you kill them?"
"It's complicated."
You invite Jason to help you get into a heavily guarded vault with the KFC secret recipe.
"Why would I do that?" he asks.

> You say "If you help me I'll give you some of the secret herbs."
"There are some herbs that the Colonel has a pact with hell to put in his chicken. If you eat them, then you can see ghosts."
"I don't want to see ghosts,"

> You appeal to Jason's good nature and say "KFC must be stopped. Millions lick their fingers to the bone every day to see at that sweet dust."
"I'm not licking anything,"
You give up explaining it to him. You try to explain what a herb is, but he doesn't seem to care.
You hold a stick with a dangling piece of fried chicken and that is enough for Jason to join you.
You are trying to break into the KFC vault. You have a gun and a bucket on your head. A lot of people are shooting at you.
"I'm shooting at him," says one guard.

> You toss a grenade at the guards. It explodes, showering them with a mix of 11 herbs and spices.
You kill all the guards with a grenade.
You and your friend put on guard uniforms and enter the vault. You grab a few pieces of fried chicken, putting them in your bucket.
"We did it,"
You try to leave, but all you can see is ghosts.  Your friend is still there, but you can see he doesn't have a physical presence.
"What did you do to me?" your friend asks.

> You say "I covered you in ghost chili, you're ethereal now". You ask Jason to possess a guard and get you out of the bank.
"Fine," he says.
You wait for a minute, and then an alarm goes off. Then you see guards running everywhere. In the chaos, you turn invisible.

> You almost make it to the door when you are stopped by KFC's number 1 enforcer, Foghorn Leghorn.
"Boy, you better have a good explanation for why you are covered in chili and trying to escape with my bucket!" he says.
You kick him into the fryer vat and yell, "Time to get extra CRISPY!"
You manage to escape, but it's not going to be easy. They know it was you, and they want revenge.
You arrive home and see the Colonel standing there in your driveway.
"Give it up boy, you got lucky this time, but you won't next time. You're messing with the bull now, and the bull is going to...well, you'll see."

> You say "No, finish what you were saying."
"I was saying you're messing with the bull now, and the bull is going to...well, you'll see."
You know that the colonel has threatened you, but are you really scared?

> You say "Releasing all flavor nukes!"
"You're going to get it boy, but I'll let you live. Those were the last words of Russell Clutchbrown before I killed him," the colonel says.

> You agree to hand over the secret spices as long as the Colonel doesn't fire the flavor nukes. He agrees and as you hand it over you blow some of the secret spice into the Colonels eyes and get into a fistfight.
You kill the Colonel and take over his business. Some people don't like it, but you have a whole nation behind you.
The moral of the story: Don't mess with Texas. And if you do, make sure you have some of that secret spice!