Helena, an android PMC equipped with a DP12 shotgun and a set of automatic shield arms

Posted under Episode 283, Story On By Chief

You are Helena, an android PMC equipped with a DP12 shotgun and a set of automatic shield arms. Your commander has sent you to deal with a group of human terrorists that have been causing a local settlement trouble. You're told that no one else can assist you due to the clean required by the recent Halloween party fiasco. You hop into a jeep with your a equipment and rations, and make way to the village. As you arrive you notice, that it's deserted save for a few old people sitting outside their homes playing cards.

> You drive onto the lawn and stop your Jeep then yell at the old people "What's up oldies?!"
"Hey! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" A man in a suit says from his porch.
You notice the man yelling at you is Gavin, who has a Penis Mini Cock and likes to show it to everyone. Gavin is the leader of the olds. You run out of your Jeep and tap him on the shoulder, he turns around with his handsignals ready.
"What!?" He says with an attitude.

> You say "Have you seen any terrorists old man!"
"You're a terrorist for driving on the lawn dirt neck!"
D'aw, I always wanted to do that. Time to fight!
"Oh, it's on now bitch!"

> You drop your DP12 and put up your dukes to spar with Gavin. you crack his glass jaw with a quick jab.
"Ow!" he says in pain.
You Dempsey roll and just as you are about to uppercut Gavin, he tells you the location of the terrorists: The Quarters.
"The terrorists are in the Quarters, I have to go now!" You say and jump into your jeep.
"Damnit!" You yell as you realize you left your shotgun.

> You arrive at the Quarters and start sneaking through the back door.
You find the terrorist's server room. You notice there are cameras everywhere.
"Fuck!" you say loudly, "I have to kill them all!"
You decide to just run in with guns blazing.

> You flail with android strength and reflexes. you're like a blender with legs.
You begin killing the terrorists with relentless a fury. You punch and kick indiscriminately.
You even leap on top of a terrorist and stab him repeatedly with a knife you picked up.
You have killed most of the terrorists except one, the leader of the terrorists Wang Wongler. He has taken cover behind a console and is throwing coffee mug at you.
The coffee mug hits you on the chin and you fall over.
"Wah hahahaha! Now I will kill you!" He says.
Your adoptive android daughter, H2O, wielding a KSVK rifle, shoots throw Wang Wongler's head and saves you.
"Thank you, H20." You say.
"It's not a problem father." She says.
After putting on a hazmat suit, you exit the Quarters with H20.

> You are leaving the scene when you are help up by Gavin wielding your DP12. He says "Wang?! What have you done to Wang. You ruined my wongly boy."
You try to explain, but he doesn't listen. He is too angry. He begins shooting you with your shotgun...
Ding dong, the terrorist is dead.
You see he is about shoot H2O and you dive in front to save her.
You find yourself on a operating table. Everything is quiet and peaceful. "I'm dead" you think and begin to close your eyes, but suddenly you are returned back to life.
you awaken to a mysterious voice saying "Mission complete, though you've damaged company property" You shrug it off and get out of bed.
"I'm immortal!" you think as you begin to celebrate being alive with some well-deserved cheers and a pizza.
The moral of the story: Don't mess with the best or die trying.