Joy Candlenight, a female Christmas elf that is a bit of a workaholic

You are Joy Candlenight, a female Christmas elf that is a bit of a workaholic. You realize your work-life balance has gotten out of control and ask Santa for reduced hours. Santa is furious; he screams at you to think of the children that need presents this year more than ever. You immediately resign and focus on working on your dream job: being an escort.

The next day you get a call from a man named John who says he's been looking for you all week.
You have John take you to a hotel and ask him what does he want with you. He tells you he wants to hire you as his assistant. You're not sure if this is a good idea, but you agree since it will give you something else to do while waiting for your new job.
John gives you the following tasks:
1) Make a list of the celebrities in the city that are willing to do an endorsement deal.
2) Find out how many toothbrushes does every family in the city own.
3) Count the number of dogs and cats living in the city.
4) Find out how many people know how to play the piano in the city.
5) Find out how many people own a PS4 and a WiiU in the city.
You fake the results and tell John you have completed the tasks as asked. John pays you with a fat stack of cash and says he will contact you in case he needs more help.
You take your fat stack of cash to a fetish store and stock up on high quality leathers and whips. You see a help wanted sign at a S&M Dungeon. You grab it and go in. The boss is a sexy female dominatrix wearing a tight leather dress.
She hires you instantly and gives you your first client who is Tony, a hot-haired streamer who has a crush on you. You're excited for your new job as an escort dominatrix.
THE END
You went to a school for psychics and met some really cool people.

> You start the first predictive escort service.
After the school you become a psychic and start a good life, but one day someone comes to you with an interesting idea.
"Wanna start an escort service?" He asks.
You see the man is Zak Bagans, paranormal expert. You start an escort service for spirits. You predict that it'll be very successful.
You're correct. The company becomes super popular and you become very rich.
THE END
You went to a school for psychics and met some really cool people.

> You start a side hustle selling Ghum.
After the school you become a psychic and start a good life, but one day someone comes to you with an interesting idea.
"Wanna make some quick, easy money?" He asks.
You see the man is Drake, a famous musician. You start selling Ghum, a drug for ghosts. You predict that it'll be very successful.
You're correct.
The moral of the story: Ghum sells.
Epilogue: You become a drug lord and it's cool.
THE END
You went to a school for psychics and met some really cool people.
10 years later... 
You're walking down the street at night, when a man leaps out of an alley at you. He's wearing a ski mask and seems to be carrying a knife.
"Give me your wallet," he says.
"I don't have a wallet," you say.
"Give me your watch then," he says.
You're surprised. This is the first time anyone has attacked you in years.
You see the the man behind mask is actually Tony. He's grown a beard and there's something off about his eyes, but you'd know that face anywhere.
The two of you stare at each other for a while.
You offer Tony some Ghum. He seems surprised, but declines.
You take out some Ghum for yourself and chew it slowly.
You lean in for a kiss.
It's everything you've ever wanted.

> You slide the ghum into his mouth.
You offer the ghum to tony.
"Don't do this," he says, "We can still escape."

> You the moral of the mini story:.
The moral of our story is that Ghum sucks. Please support the OEK by not purchasing this product.