You are Ian McKay, assistant manager at Shopping Cart City, a shop for all your shopping cart needs. You have just gotten your Christmas Themed Shopping carts and are ready to sell them, when you hear Jim say, "Why do I have to put the Shopping cart I'm buying in another Shopping cart?" You look over at Jim who is now standing behind you with his hands on his hips. He says, "Because it's not fair! It should be me that has to go get the new one!" > You comply with Jims tyrade and give him 3 percent off his order. You comply with Jims tyrade and give him 3 percent off his order. The next day you come into work and see Jim in front of the counter with a shopping cart he bought yesterday. Jim demands a full refund because when he puts some fruit in the cart it makes a squeaking noise. > You apologize profusely for Jim's squeaky banana's, but all sales are final. "FUCK YOU!" Jim yells, "You fucking nazi!" He turns around and starts to walk away. Jim now feels a sense of victory over you and realizes he has all the power in the situation. As Jim struts out of the store he barrels into Rabid Rudolph, a reindeer who's nose turned red from rabies. Rabid foams furiously as he yells "OUT OF MY WAY!" Jim stumbles back and falls into a shelf of glass Christmas Ornaments. The ornaments shatter as Jim screams. "I broke my ankle!" The ambulance comes and takes Jim to the hospital. Jim sues the store for lack of guard rails and rabid animals in the store, eventually leading to the closure of Shopping Cart City. > You lose your job and end up working at Hand Cart Kiosk. you say aloud " well,at least I don't have to deal with Jim anymore". You hear the squeak of a wheelchair and a man ask you for help. You turn and see Jim. "I've haven't seen you in a while, what have you been up to? Jim tells you he's rich from the lawsuit and is buying the store you work at. He says, "Thanks for the tip about the guard rails and rabies." "How did you know it was me?" you say. "Because of your unique way of complicating things" Jim replies. A voice yells out "Hey Jim, how's it goin buddy". You look to see its Rudolph, substantially less rabid. "Good to see you" Jim says. As you walk off, your boss calls you into his office and gives you a job in his own company. You'll be selling automatic doors for shopping carts. You accept the promotion and head home early, but when to the parking lot you see Jim and Rudolph chugging beers and slapping ass. You suspect Jim scammed you and is preparing to scam again. You secretly record him as he goes about the rest of his day. You go home for the day and come back to see that Jim has in fact opened up a Hand Cart Kiosk across the street from his new store. > You just before the store opens you see Jim in a disguise dumping gasoline on his own store and lighting it on fire before driving away in his Trans Am. A flaming Shopping Cart whizzes past you on the sidewalk and then another and another. Police sirens fill the streets as a Shopping Cart on fire crashes through the front window of the store. You show the police the evidence proving the Jim is guilty. With his arrest the city's economy collapses and you are arrested for treason. The moral of the story: You should have ran over Jim when you had the chance.
Ian McKay, assistant manager at Shopping Cart City
Posted under Episode 281, Story On By Chief