Ted Franco, a guy at a cinema watching ‘Avengers: battle for The Christmas tree’

Posted under Episode 274, Story On By Chief

You are Ted Franco, a guy at a cinema watching 'Avengers: battle for The Christmas tree'. You hear Tony saying "Hawkeye is the worst Avenger". You start to get angry at Tony and lean in to say that "actually Hulk is Worse than Hawkeye, The Hulk half the time is just some nerdy scientist, he only is the hulk when he's angry". Tony then says "Oh I don't care who you are, if you keep talking like that, I'm going to kick your ass out of here!".
You keep talking like that and throw popcorn in Tony's face. Tony starts to get angry and you see him tear out of his clothes and transform into a giant green monster. He begins to beat you up with his fists and bite on your neck, but you still continue to talk like that, so he decides to end it by turning all the lights off in the theatre.

> You can see the screen much better now, and it makes you furious.
For the next hour and a half you are watching the ending credits of 'Avengers:Battle for the Christmas tree'. It is very boring what happens in these credits, but you can make out some symbols.
You see Young Tony, a guy who thinks that responsible dads aren't Superheroes, and he figures out the symbols. Young Tony reveals the secret message of the credits says: "Watch the films in the correct order and you will rule the world".

> You watch every movie in order of coolness.
You decide the most cool movie has to be the first one.
After you finish watching watching Iron Man 1, you are visited by Rocket Raccoon; but played by Goldentusk instead of being CGI.  He gives you a message that he is very angry at you for choosing to watch the movie in the wrong order. Instead of ruling the world, you have wasted your time watching all the movies in the wrong order.

> You beg him to let you try again.
Rocket Raccoon gets very angry and says that now, the whole world will laugh at you for making that stupid decision. You are very angry too.

> You steal Rocket Raccoon's mixtape.
You steal his whole mixtape.
You turn to see a giant green monster eating the sun.
That's the end of the story. Did you enjoy it?

> You say "No."
The monster eats you.

> You explore the inside of the monster's stomach. It is very warm, because the sun is in there. You find the following 10 items:.
A Cracker
A Piece of Paper
A Glass Bottle
A Yellow Rattle
A Pair of Baby Shoes
A Purse Containing £80, a Parking Ticket and an Address for a Cafe in Manchester
A Live Mouse Caught in a Trap
A VHS of 'An obscure Western'
A Chewed Pencil
A Broken Calculator
You pick up:
The Purse.
The Paper.
The Mouse.

> You look down to read the paper.
You drop the mouse and the paper.
The paper says:
"Don't watch the movies in the wrong order, or you will die."
You pick up the mouse. It's still alive.
You free the mouse and name it George.
You think about what you have learned, and decide to start a new life in the country.

> You use the pencil to stab your way out of the monster's stomach. You move to the Manchester countryside.
You live happily ever after and you name your first child George.

> You raise George as a strong single father after watching your wife die in childbirth.
You raise George to be a well-respected member of society.
You have successfully completed this choose your own adventure story.
The moral of the story: Don't watch the movies in the wrong order.