You are The Grinch, a green mean Christmas hating machine. You're paid by a casting company to hate Christmas. One day you hear that you're getting replaced by a cooler, younger Grinch for a modern audience. You're furious and storm out of your cave to see if the world is ready for a new Grinch. You find that it isn't, but then neither was this world when you were first born into this miserable existence. they get a hot, young actor to play the new grinch. Just the mention of his name sends you into a spasm of rage. You can feel your powers growing as you unleash hell on him. He's so scared he doesn't even know what hit him! He runs off crying and apologizing to his parents, who don't believe him at all. You feel good about yelling at the new Grinch until you see a hot female Grinch that is the new Grinch's mom. She walks up to you and tells your her name is Gronchtilda. She asks what you're doing in her cave. You are about to hit on Gronchtilda when Chad Clause, Santa's older Slacker brother who has to deliver the presents because Santa broke his Spleen, walks in and kisses her on the mouth. You want to kill them both but they're in the middle of a smooch when in comes Mother Nature herself and takes you back to your cave while yelling at you. > You lean in for a kiss with Mother Nature. You lean in for a kiss with Mother Nature as time seems to stand still. You're about to make your move when Vixen's boyfriend comes over and says that they're going to be late for the Christmas Dance. You weren't invited, but you show up to the Christmas dance alone. Vixen has a dress that's too small for her, but looks great. You dance with Vixen and give her a card. You head home and watch the movie Die Hard. You get a text from Vixen. It's a selfie of her in her tight dress in the bathroom. Why is she in the bathroom? You feel like you're going to throw up. It's a message that says "I'm going to the dance with Chad now. Don't call me ever again." You go back to the dance and vengefully fill the dance with Gronchstank, a noxious gas turns people into grinches. You can't remember if it's three breaths or six, but you go with six because Mother Nature is too preoccupied to notice the corpses piling up. You run out of the dance. > You get home and turn on the TV. The lead story is about a bunch of dead grinches at a dance. The police have found the bodies of fifteen grinches and three hundred sixty-six unwrapped presents. There are also traces of a noxious gas that can be fatal to humans. Police think it was Mother Nature. > You text the police and tip them that it was definitely Mother Nature who caused the deaths. You feel good. The police and FBI suspect Mother Nature. They arrest her and seize all of her assets. You're given $10 million for your information. Mother Nature goes on trial. > You testify against Mother Nature. You testify against Mother Nature. Father Time, as an expert in mythology and fairy tales, testifies that the spirit of Mother Nature can't be taken out of a story this old. You spend most of your settlement on reconstructive surgery to look like Chad. You hit the club and are happy that you are attracting all the woman and then men. You get a role in the next Star Wars movie as a Stormtrooper. THE END You've reached the "Congratulations" screen. Do you want to play again? Yes. Got the Green-Nosed Man. Got the Red Nose. Got the Unlucky title. Got the Grinch title. Got the Scrooge title. No.
The Grinch, a green mean Christmas hating machine
Posted under Episode 273, Story On By Chief