Krampus, the one who punishes naughty children every year at Christmas

Posted under Episode 272, Story On By Chief

You are Krampus, the one who punishes naughty children every year at Christmas. You've been out of commission ever since Santa sent you to the Goat dimension, but a helpful lizardman opened a portal to Earth, and you're finally free to unleash your punishment upon the world, and this time you have an army of goat men to help you.
"Krampus! Krampus! Krampus!" you shout as you lead your horde through the portal.
You ride Murderhorn, your loyal Diregoat mount, through the portal and end up in a carnival in Brazil. There is a small crowd watching, which includes several kids.
"Hey guys, what do we do now?" One asks.
"Kill Krampus," another says. "He's killing all the little people."

> You order your goatmen to attack the Brazilians.
You order your goatmen to attack the crowd. The people begin screaming and running in every direction.
You swing your whip at a girl, but she rolls out of the way and onto her feet.
The girl hypnotizes you with her dancing hips. You're too busy watching her ass that you don't notice one of the goatmen bite your neck.
You bleed out and collapse.
You pass out and when you wake up all of your goat men are praying to this woman's ass. You realize the woman is Shakira. In fact it's the original Shakira, not the newer one. You are in her music video 'She wolf'.
Your whip is right beside you, but sadly you're now a good guy.
You decide to use your whip for good instead of evil. You proceed to escape from the music video by swinging from the chandelier. You use your whip to reach the next chandelier, then the next one, then the next one...

> You lean in to kiss her buttcheeks.
You lean in towards her buttcheeks, and she slowly moves out of the way. You go in for a second attempt, but this time she spins around quickly and sticks her butt right in your face.
You feel your soul being drained and you realize that Shakira is demonic succubutt.
"You're not going to be the one to steal my career away from me," she declares, "I'm the queen of asses!"
You die and become her slave ass.

> You your day is only filled with ass now. Fetching the holy ass ointments. Drinking the ass-shaped fruits. Only Ass.
You choose to live in a world of asses.
You decide to use a large mirror to trick Shakira into hypnotizing herself via ass. You wait until she dances. You wait until night and her backup dancers go home. You wait for her to go to sleep. But in the morning, she is still going strong.
You can feel the Earth begin to rumble to the rhythm of her ass shaking. You know you have to stop her somehow. You decide the best course of action is to lure her into the large mirror, which is in a nearby broken down building.
As you drag her butt to the warehouse, she is hypnotizing everyone along the way. When you reach the mirror there is a small army of hypnotized butt crazed Brazilians and goatmen standing in your way. They're hungry too. You have one shot at this.
The mirror is set up on some sort of pedestal, and there is a large lever beside it.
You wait until she is until the right position and then you use your whip to pull the lever down. Part of the floor under her breaks, and she falls right through the bottom of the building. A few seconds later you feel the rumble of the Earth stop. You've saved the world.
The moral of the story: Always remember the importance of ass.
You did it! You saved the world from a life of asses!