Cory’s brain, using sewer rats to return to body

Posted under Episode 271, Story On By Chief

You are a piece of Cory's brain matter that flew into a nearby sewer. You've been eaten by a rat but there's plenty of room to pilot the rat as your new body perhaps you can have your revenge at the head of a living tide or rats or something.
"I am not going down without a fight!"
you decide a new life as a tide of rats can be full of opportunity, you decide the first step is to get a job. You put in applications at the following 10 places:
1) The local fast food place.
2) A pawn shop.
3) An electronics store.
4) A gas station.
5) A grocery store.
6) A funeral home.
7) The local library.
8) A toy store.
9) A garage.
10) An adult bookstore.
You get a job at Chuck E Cheese. You don't really care what job you get, you just need to be able to afford a place to live.
You begin your new life in the big city.
You meet a lot of new friends in the city. Baxter Stockman, a mad scientist who has invented "Mousers" which are miniature robots that eat mice. Also you meet Rudy Giuliani, who is also a large pile of rats in a suit.
After a few months, you find an abandoned warehouse to live in. After a few more months you get a girlfriend, she is also a mutant. She can turn into a giant snake monster.
you decide to perform your favorite sex act with her in her giant snake monster form. You feel a little weird about it at first but you get over it.
After a few more months, you and your girlfriend are attacked by the foot clan!

> You ask Baxter Stockman to make you a weapon to fight the foot clan.
You make a plan with the rats to ambush the foot clan. You tell your girlfriend to not interfere but to just stay hidden as the battle takes place.
After winning the giant battle you see the leader of the foot clan carrying your girlfriend deeper into the sewers.
You and the rats follow them, at the end of the sewer tunnel you find a secret lair. As you enter the room, you see that there are hundreds of kidnapped women in the room.

> You see giant snake girlfriend in one of the cells. She has already turned into a snake and has slithered out of her cell.
You break open all the cells and free all of the women who then flee deeper into the sewer tunnels.
You turn into a rat during this time and look for your girlfriend.
You find your girlfriend stuck in a big sticky trap in the foot clan's secret lair.
You turn back into your human form and free her from the trap.
You have done it, you are back in your human body. You giant snake girlfriend is still in the room. You go to talk to her but she just ignores you and slithers out of the room.
You never speak to her again and life goes on for you in new york city.
For the rest of your life, you cry every time you see a snake, no matter what form you're in.
You quit your job at Chuck E Cheese and return to the AI Police Department. You spend the rest of your life fighting crime using your mutant abilities.
You never get over the death of your girlfriend. You stay celibate for the rest of your life and live by yourself.

> You try to infect yourself with the flu.
You think about your life, you know people are counting on you to save them.
You remember that you have a healthy distrust of the medical community and decide to not get the flu vaccine.

> You notice Hilary Clinton entering a secret basement in the Chuck E. Cheese.
You follow her and see what she is doing. She is shutting down the rat-hunt.
She says that the rat-hunt needs to end, but the media and public opinion have made it impossible to shut down.

> You shoot off your flare and yell "LET THE RAT HUNT BEGIN!"
A crowd of people with torches and pitchforks shows up.
"Where's the rat?" you ask.
The crowd points to the door of the Chuck E. Cheese.
The moral of the story: Sometimes you will feel like an asshole for doing the right thing, but it's important to do it anyway.