Swimmy Neutron, koi genius

Posted under Episode 269, Story On By Chief

You are Swimmy Neutron, koi genius. After years of trial and error. you have invented a new way to eat your own poop! You explain your plan to the other members of the tank. It's essentially a tiny Magic Bullet food processor. You tell your fish friends that you need their help to disassemble the tank filter for the necessary parts. But they are too stupid to understand your instructions! Exasperated, you decide to start with the basics. School is in session!

"Okay, kids! I want you to go into the water and find some planktonic creatures that look like this: !"

The first thing you notice is how many of them there are.
You look towards the top of the tank and see Octopussy, an eldritch combination of Persian cat and giant octopus descend into depths. You hide in the underwater castle. The next one up is a mass of tentacles and eyeballs. A few moments later you spot a large green blob with two eyes on the bottom of the tank. You also notice that it has no mouth or nose.
The blob says "hello" in a high pitched voice. You wave at it in response. It's very creepy and makes you want to hide in a cave.
You all jump into the tank, eager to get started!
You think you are safe, but then a Tiny, fishtank-sized Cthulhu pulls you out into the open water.
"I am the Great Old One! I have no mouth, and I must scream!"
You wiggle and flail, but he holds on tight. Eventually you manage to bite his arm.

> You say "If you fucking bottom feeders don't listen me, I will turn you into filet 'o fish with my laser fins."
Tiny Cthulhu is awed by your mastery of the English language. He lets you go and retreats to a shadowy corner of the tank to brood over his inadequacies.

> You take pity on Tiny Cthulhu and give him speech lessons.
You spend weeks trying to give him speech lessons. Despite your efforts, he just can't grasp the concept. It is all he can do to bark like a cat, sneeze, and breathe fire.
You asks Tiny Cthulhu if he knows anything about inventing things and if he wants to help you build your fish feeder, which is poop. He stares at you blankly.
You shrug and start to build your fish feeder.

> You notice Tiny Cthulhu has begun to disassemble the tank filter.
You watch in amazement as he takes out the tiny screws with his claws. You reach over and take the pieces from him, holding them carefully so as not to lose any.
You finish the prototype of your feeder machine and enjoy a massive feast with all the fish in the tank. You swim up and point your flipper at Tiny Chtulhu to say, "I couldn't have done it alone, Tiny Cthulhu come take a fish bow."
He comes over and takes a fish from your hand. Then you swim to the surface and look down at the tank through the glass coffee table. You think about what you will do next.

You see your new invention is malfunctioning and is creating a deadly whirlpool within the fishtank. The fish are swirling around the tank at breakneck speeds. It's like a cat-tank!
Watching it makes you dizzy.

> You know the weakest point of the cat-tank is the pussy springs, you know only tiny Cthulhu with his tiny claws could disable the device. you ask him to break the pussy springs and save all the fish.
He stares at you blankly.
You shrug and dive into the tank. You swim around to check out the new pussy springs, they seem to be constructed with a rare type of metal you have never seen before.
You hear a loud noise and see the Kool Aid man break through the fish tank and yell, "Oh yeah!" Tiny Cthulhu escapes and you end up swimming around in the kool aid.
Kool Aid Man's eyes narrow. "You are a tasty looking fish, but I want to see how the rest of your friends taste."
He runs towards you and dives into the tank.

> You kool-Aid man uses his dart gun to spear a fish.
Kool-Aid man dives in and uses his dart gun to spear fish one by one. He tosses each fish into a huge bucket.
"Hey, get me out of here!" you yell.
Tiny Cthulu comes back and summons an eldritch horror to kill the Kool Aid man and free you. You swim away, safe at last.
The moral of the story: No good deed goes unpunished.
You reached the "Happy Ending" of Fish Tank. You should try again, there are many different paths to this outcome.