You are Santa Claus, Father Christmas, living at the north pole with your elves and reindeer. You are preparing for this year's Christmas, and have led your reindeer outside, when you notice one of them, Prancer, is missing. You go back to check the reindeer stables and find Prancer hanging half over one of the box dividers, facing away from you. He turns his head to look at you, and moves his front legs in the air, causing his rump to wiggle seductively before you. He then says, "Help me Santa, I'm stuck," once again struggling weakly for emphasis, while giving you a bedroom-eyed look. You sigh—this must be the fourth time he "got stuck" this week alone—and approach the helpless reindeer. He looks up at you, as if expecting you to help him, but instead you just walk away. The next day, he is gone. You search the North Pole for him and find nothing. > You start to get worried. Christmas is drawing near, and you need Prancer to help you pull your sleigh. You can't risk losing him again. You decide that it is best to try to find him yourself, so you begin searching the North Pole. You go to all over all over Prancer's favorite locations: near the reindeer stables, by the carrot patch, and near the elves' houses. You find nothing. You do, however, find a trail of carrots leading from the reindeer stable area. > You follow the trail of carrots. You follow the trail of carrots in a desperate attempt to find your reindeer. After ten minutes, you reach a clearing and see something that makes your heart sink. A man dressed in a large, red suit, holding a sack with the word "JOY" written on it. His face is kind and jolly, with a white beard to match. > You notice blood dripping from the sack. "Elves," you say to yourself. The man dressed as Santa Claus turns to you and smiles. "Hello!" he greets cheerfully, "I can tell you love elves, am I right?" You recognize this fat imposter as Hoggers, a rogue elf that fallen into a life of crime. You suspect him of doing something awful to Prancer. You lunge forward to strangle him, but he sidesteps and stabs you in the neck with a syringe. You have been drugged with truth serum. "It's not too bad, is it?" he asks. "Now tell me, what do you want for Christmas?" > You say "I want Prancer to come home" "I want Prancer to come home," you blurt out. Hoggers stares at you and smiles. Then, without warning, he plunges a syringe into your neck and departs. > You wake up hanging half over one of the box dividers. You are stuck. Prancer walks up. "Oh, you're up," he says with a creepy grin. "You won't be going anywhere for a while." You try to escape, but are stuck. You scream for help, but nobody comes. Prancer fucks your ass until you die of dehydration. The moral of the story: never accept carrots from strangers. Epilogue: An elf funeral is held for you, and you are burned on a pyre.
Santa Claus, Father Christmas
Posted under Episode 268, Story On By Chief