Kenneth Macleod, an immortal on a quest to kill a dictator called James Cochran

Posted under Episode 266, Story On By Chief

You are Kenneth Macleod, an immortal on a quest to kill a dictator called James Cochran. Unfortunately he hasn't come in to power yet so you've been cryogenically frozen until the time is right. When you come to, you find yourself in a long abandoned lab and realize you're 180 years late. You look out a window and see a city of skyscrapers with people walking around and going about their lives. The only thing that stands out is the fact there's no one here except for you and your freezer.

> You look in the freezer and find 10 cyberpunk items:.
The first item you find inside the freezer is a small black book with red writing on it. It has a picture of a man wearing glasses holding up two hands which have fingers pointing at him. A speech bubble coming from the man's mouth says "Der Unendliche ist ewig" which translates to "The Infinite is eternal".

> You realize the man on the cover is James Cochran.
You decide to research the name "Der Unendliche" by looking up who James Cochran is. According to your database, he was a charismatic businessman with big dreams but the bad kind.
You turn on the news and are shocked to see James Cochran who appears to have not aged at all. You find out that it is because he is a clone and there are thousands of his clones that run the world. They all work for the World Council in a gigantic tower in the city of Neo-Berlin.
You also notice that the news is state-controlled and heavily censored.
The freezer next to you opens with a cloud of mist. Dr. Reindrob floats out, but he is just a brain in a glass jar. He looks at you and says, "You're not supposed to be here. How did you escape?"
He floats around the room before spotting a small orifice near the floor.
Dr Reindrob floats over the orifice and begins to strain. 
Dr Reindrob floats over the orifice and begins to strain to take a shit he cant take.
He manages to squeeze out a turd before dying.
You scream over his dead brain, "How could you let this happen? You had the technology to stop this!" You then notice that the "turd" is an egg.
You are killed instantly by an enraged elephant wearing brass knuckles.

> You your body is sucked into the orifice. Your brain is removed and placed in a glass jar by Dr. Reindrob.
A tentacle grabs you and pulls you into the orifice. You find yourself in a room with hundreds of other brains in jars. They all look exactly like you.
The alpha brain introduces itself as Dr. Reindrob. He tells you that he has been watching you for a while and has come to the conclusion that your life as an immortal was a miserable one.
"Why?" You think to yourself.

> You ask Dr. Reindrob to build you a new body.
Dr. Reindrob says that he can't do that, but he offers you the chance to live again. You just have to press a button and his brain will be killed.
You press the button and the alpha brain explodes and reveals another elephant with brass knuckles. But this elephant has it's skull exposed and it looks like you can fit in. You become the elephant.
You walk outside and the men on the street look at you. They are in ecstasy. A woman screams about how massive your trunk is.

> You go looking for James Cochran.
You walk around for what seems like days before finding the tower. It is massive, easily filling up most of the skyline with it's cylindrical shape.
You barge in and stampede towards the elevator. You take it to the top floor and enter James Cochran's penthouse. You see him sitting at his desk as if he was anticipating you.
"Hello John."
You are overcome with rage as you run over and slam him into the wall.
You break through the wall and you and James are hurdling out of the skyscraper towards the ground. You bash James with your trunk as you both splat on the ground of Neo Berlin.
You stand up and break through the newly formed pile of corpses. You are completely unscathed.
You begin destroying everything in your path. You destroy a robot that tries to stop you.
The moral of the story: NEVER FUCKING PISS OFF A MOTHER FUCKING ELEPHANT.