Spot Domino, a hero of old

Posted under Episode 265, Story On By Chief

You are Spot Domino, a hero of old. After sometime, a fan of yours arrives and asks for you autograph. You take out your desert eagle and sign it. The man is surprised by this, but he signs back and thanks you before leaving.
You pull out your autobiography and shoot your name into it and hand it to the fan. He reads through it and then leaves.
A few more fans arrive, one of them is a little girl who looks about 8 or 9 years old.

> You take the little girl's teddy bear and kick it fifty meters.
You kick the teddy bear fifty meters and the girl looks at you like she could murder you.
"What the hell did you do that for?! I loved that bear!" The girl cries running over to it.

> You kick the little girl over to the bear. You say "you're welcome citizen"
You quickly run up and shoot the little girls head off. You turn to the crowd of people looking at you in horror and shout "You are a bunch of spotty bastards!"
You attempt to escape, but your are stopped by the girl's teddy bear Mr Bearington, who has now transformed into Mecha Teddy. He stands in front of the door and makes a little victory sign at you. He calls for backup too, and thirty more Mecha-Teddies enter. Looks like you'll die here today.

> You pull out your Desert Eagle and say, "I can bear this."
You fire your Desert Eagle at Mr Bearington's head, but he ducks at the last second and the bullet just misses him. You try to run past him, but he grabs you and breaks both your legs.

> You dig through your pockets, and pull out a business card with the words "Jim Christ-Kumbucha lord" on it. you Pray to Jim Christ to take you away from the mecha-teddies.
You feel hands lifting you up and the next thing you know, you are in the arms of a very large man with a hairy face and long white hair.

> You the man hands you a bottle of perfectly chilled kombucha. As you sip it you can feel your legs begin to suture and heal.

> You the man hands you a bottle of perfectly chilled kombucha. As you sip it you can feel your legs begin to suture and heal.
"Thanks Jim" you say.
"Your welcome" says Jim, owner and brewer of JCHR Kombucha.
You return from the heavens to the bookstore and begin your mech teddy kicking spree. After you have killed all 30 of them, you begin to feel hungry.
"I'm gonna go get a taco" says one of the men as he leaves.
You go with the man to get tacos, but suddenly the Kool Aid Man bursts through the wall and yells, "Oh yeah!" He is holding a scimitar and a bright red surfboard.
"I have arrived!" he yells, before looking at the tacos. "Let's eat,"
You casually tell the Kool Aid man while eating that you shot a young girl in the face. Kool Aid Man says, "Oh no!" and arms himself with his scimitar. You and Kool Aid Man go out to hunt down the people who left to kill them.

> You track the people who left to the beach. Kool-Aid man mows down people with his surfboard.
You arrive at the beach and begin to fight. You kill many, but others get away in cars.
You decide to go on a walk to clear your head, you spot a man drinking a bright red liquid.
You then see the Kool Aid Man surfing a giant wave that crashes on the shore and he slides in, pitcher half full, and says, "Drink of me and you will be part of me!"
You run up and grab the pitcher from him and he laughs. "I will be back from the dead to kill you!"

> You drink of the Kool-Aid man and laugh maniacally.
You drink the pitcher and it tastes good and is refreshing. You run home and laugh maniacally. You are never the same again.
You fall into a coma after drinking the Kool-Aid.
You level up and gain the following Kool Aid related powers:
You gain the ability to summon zombies.
You gain life link, meaning that if any of your zombie lackeys die you will too.
The moral of the story: Drink Kool-Aid and you too can gain life link and the powers of necromancy.