Doria, an ogre scholar and the daughter of the Ogre God, Bolz

Posted under Episode 264, Story On By Chief

You are Doria, an ogre scholar and the daughter of the Ogre God, Bolz. You were once a magic teacher, but due to a random string of events you married the princess of the eleven nation of Orlania. You spend your days researching with the royal magician, but occasionally your divine father urges you to fight. On one such day, the princess wakes you up and tells you that she has been kidnapped by goblins. The only way to save her is for you to go into battle against them.
You suspect this is a plot from your father to instigate you to fight. You let the goblins take the princess, but not before casting a powerful barrier spell on her. You then leave to find out what happened to the princess.
When you arrive at the goblin village, you see that it is still under attack by orcs.
You cast an invisibility spell on yourself and sneak through the village to find the princess. She is not there, but you find a prisoner. He is a mage, and he tells you that the princess is in another village.

> You escape the village with the mage and head off to find the princess.
You and the mage make it out of the village without being spotted. You use a teleportation spell to get back to Orlania, then set off to find the princess with the orc captain and his company.

> You the Orc captain introduces himself. he is Tony, a prince that doesn't like being Tonyzoned. He winks at you. Tony yells "Maggots, line up and state your names."
"I am Firstmate," the orc-pirate says.
"I am Secondmate," the orc-pirate says.
And so on, and so on, until...
"I am Captain!"
You say, "an Ogre is like a Onion, we have many layers."
"That's a funny joke," Captain! Tony says.
The orc-pirates laugh and applaud. You blush, you didn't intend it to be a joke.

> You travel with the Orc company to the goblin village where the princess is being held prisoner.
You go with the orc captain and his company to the goblin village.
You sneak through the forest, invisible. You see a group of orcs fighting goblins.
You see the princess surprisingly fighting alongside the goblins. Your barrier spell is still in effect on her as she tears through the orc forces.
You are so focused on the princess, that you are unaware of another goblin sneaking up behind you. He hits you with a rusty knife, but it bounces off of your protective barrier.

> You cast a spell that turns the goblin into a blob.
You turn the goblin into a green blob, then step on it.
The goblin blob cries out in pain and the rest of the goblins and orcs flee. The orc captain is impressed and thanks you for your help.
You Ogre god father, Bolz, descends from the sky. He is proud of your fighting and tells you to choose any prize you want from his hoard.

> You narrow your choice down to the following 10 magical items:.
A. Bolt Of Gold: A necklace made of pure gold. The value is incalculably high.
B. Helmet Of Iron: A helmet made of the strongest metal.
C. The Orb Of Dancing: A ball that grants the wearer the ability to dance without any formal training.
D. The Rabbit Pouch: A leather pouch that can magically produce vegetables.
E. The Golden Carriage: A golden carriage pulled by unicorns.
F. The Wooden Sword: A wooden sword with the ability to cause bloodshed (Real metal swords cannot harm the wearer).
G. The Mask Of Gorgrog: A mask that gives the wearer the ability to breathe fire and control dragons.
H. The Bag Of Plenty: A bag that has an endless supply of food.
I. The Owl-Guide: A magical owl that can guide the wearer anywhere in the world.
In all of your years as a troll, you have never seen such amazing objects. Which item do you choose?

> You say "Keep your items father. The one thing I want is your love."
Tears stream down your fathers face as he embraces you for the first time. Your fathers love fills your heart to the brim, and you spend the rest of your days in happiness raising wurms as a hobby.
The moral of the story: Even though your father is an all powerful magical being, he still doesn't know how to express his love for you.