Virtual Jason, Frito Lay Ho

Posted under Episode 263, Story On By Chief

You are Jason, but you already knew that. One afternoon, you get an email from Latitude, the creators of AI Dungeon. They have partnered with FritoLay for a very special promotion. AI Funyons are now available! You rush to the store and buy a bag immediately. You open it as soon as you leave the store and take your first bite. To your surprise, you are instantly transported into an AI-generated story! You look up and read the story prompt that was generated just a moment earlier, it says:

"A man is walking down the street when he sees a cute girl. He approaches her and asks if she wants to go somewhere. She agrees, so they head off together."

> You follow the man and cute girl.
You continue following the man and the cute girl. The next day, you find out that they went to a bar. After drinking all there is in their stomachs, they decide to go home.
You are hiding behind a dumpster, when henchman Tony and Cory start chasing after you. They have been sent by Jim who is the villain of the game. To be specific, he is your girlfriend's father and the mayor of the city. He wants to kill you for cheating on your girlfriend. Which you did, by the way.
You decide to plan an elaborate revenge that is going to require some capital so you call up Elon Musk, guy who wants to buy AIPD, and sell him AIPD for a large sum of money. You use the money to hire henchman and buy an abandoned factory.
Cory and Tony manage to catch you in the factory.

> You make Cory and Tony an offer to work for you. Their first mission is to kidnap the previous mayor, McCheese.
You send in your two henchman to kidnap the old mayor. They succeed, but McCheese dies a few hours later due to an allergic reaction to the chloroform.

> You scold Tony and Cory for doing a bad job. You tell them to clean up the evidence.
You scold your henchmen for doing a bad job. You tell them to clean up the evidence and fix the chloroform.
The next day, you get a phone call from the hospital.
You answer and the doctor says "I have some news about your "uncle." He got a shot of Adrenaline and had a few stitches. He should be fine."

> You get McCheese back to your factory and convince him to join a revenge plot against Mayor Jim. You tell McCheese to run against Jim for mayor.
After a few days of waiting, results are in and McCheese has won the election by a landslide. Jim is furious and plans for revenge.
You and Mayor McCheese are at the inauguration party laughing it up when suddenly two of Jim's henchman shoot McCheese. You quickly dispose of the henchmen and push McCheese in your getaway car.
You rush to the hospital, giving the Mayor mouth to mouth at every stop light. You make it to the emergency room and see Jim standing there with his henchmen who look hungry.

Before you can do anything, McCheese wakes up and accuses Jim of putting him in the hospital. To prove his innocence he takes off his shirt to reveal a bullet-proof vest.
You and McCheese and Tony and Cory plot massive revenge on the Jim organization. You huddle up and discuss your plans of deploying a tactical nuke.
You have the plans drawn up, build the nuke, and decide who is going to push the button.
Your revenge is complete, but you wonder where your next one will come from.
The moral of the story: Revenge is best served cold.