Virtual Cory, newly bionic man

Posted under Episode 263, Story On By Chief

You are Cory, an officer with the AIPD who has just returned to the force following an extended stay at the hospital. You are excited to back to work with your new bionic spine and heart, but your Captain, Jason, is hesitant to send you out, in case you fall victim to another bizarre injury. One day approach Jason and tell him, that you need some time off for personal reasons. He agrees, but insists on a few conditions:

"I want you to be fully prepared when I call you back," he says.
You are told that Officer Franklin, an officer who's one day away from retirement, will cover for you today. You start to leave and then you see there is a major shootout at the local library. An alcoholic Santa Claus who only works one day a year and has started to drink Cum flavoured Beer is holding 15 people hostage. The police have been called in, but it doesn't look good...

The next day you return to work and get your first assignment as usual: a robbery of a bank.
You hear Franklin was killed, he was the only casualty in apprehending the drunk Santa. You send his wife a nice hallmark card, inside you write:
"Better him than me."
There's no time to grieve, because you have a job to do.

> You drive the squad car to the bank. You get out and get on the loudspeaker and yell at the bank robber and hostages inside.
You try to keep calm and assess the situation. You see a man in a red suit with a large burlap sack over his shoulder leaving the bank. There are also 16 hostages running out.
You see the bank robber is the drunk Santa and you unload your glock into him as revenge for Franklin. You fire a total of 34 shots and hit him in the arm, chest, pelvis, both legs and neck. He dies in hospital 2 days later.

> You interrogate drunk Santa in the hospital before he dies.
You interview drunk Santa in his hospital bed and find out that he had planned the bank robbery for over 6 months, the day before yesterday he put rum in all the guard's coffee, this is why they were slow to react
As you turn to leave, Santa's tells you of where he hid $300k in unmarked cash. Santa tells you that that the money is located under the big oak tree at the park near the hospital.
You recover the money and use it to buy yourself a nice watch.

> You shop for a nice Rolex. The Rolex salesman tells you all about Rolex watches.
The Rolex is beautiful but it's a little expensive. You buy it anyway.
That night you go the the AIPD annual party.
You show off your watch to everyone and then the Chief Jason asks you how you could afford such an expensive watch with your salary.
"I found the money under a oak tree." you reply.
"Good one, but it's time to go back to work."

> You spike the punch bowl at the AIPD annual party. Everyone gets drunk. You dance the robot with Franklin's widow.
You spike the punch bowl at the party. Everyone starts getting drunk, even the Chief. You dance the robot with Franklin's widow, she cries into your armpit.
"I'm sorry for your loss,"
You wipe away the tears and lean in for a kiss. You miss and headbutt her, this causes you to cry also.
You both cry for an hour then dance some more. Eventually the party ends and everyone goes home.
They next morning you wake up with a hangover and see Franklin's widow is next to you sleeping in your bed.

"What have you done to me?" she cries.
"I'm soiled."
"Not in that sense," you reply, "but I think we both could do with a shower.
You go through the Widow's purse while she cry showers and see a bunch of anit-cybernetic propaganda.
You realize she planted a bomb in the bank. You run to the bathroom and yell at her to get out.
"Too late, scum," she says. She blows up and takes your arm with her.
The moral of the story: Don't have sex or spike the punch at a AIPD party.