Plymouth Jones, a pilgrim on a ship called the Aprilshower

Posted under Episode 251, Story On By Chief

You are Plymouth Jones, a pilgrim on a ship called the Aprilshower (the failed precursor to the Mayflower that no one ever talks about) You have just finished loading the ship's cargo hold, and are ready to set sail on your voyage to the new world. The captain of this ship calls out to you,  "Plymouth, come up to the quarterdeck."
You jog up the steps of the ship and stand in front of the captain on the deck.
You worriedly ask the Captain he wants with you.
"Plymouth, I've just received word that we have some passengers coming aboard, make sure there is room for them in the cargo hold."
You look at the seedy individuals that are boarding the ship and show them to their quarters. You see they all have left over hoolerhoops.
When the captain sees them he realizes they are Passengers and says "Hooligans! Make sure they don't steal anything!"

> You decide to tie up the Passengers. you stuff them into barrels to keep them safe.
You think to yourself, "This is a long voyage and the crew won't care if they are in the way." You tie up the Passengers and stick them into empty barrels.
You forget about them and go to play shuffleboard. The Captains sees you without them and yells at you.
He says "What have you done with the Passengers! Where are they?!"
You tell him that you tied them up and put them in barrels, but he does not listen.

> You roll a passenger in a barrel up to the deck to show the captain. you say 
"see" as you open the barrel to reveal a passenger covered in vomit.
You hear the captain say "I didn't tell you to roll one up here! I told you to roll it up here!"
The captain is furious.
Luckily your crewmate Donkey Kong, takes the barrel to the top of the mast for you. Donkey Kong throws the barrel and starts screaming when a pirate ship boards your ship.
You and the captain rush to fight them off, and then you hear a scream from the top of the mast....
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> You decide to ram the pirate ship and prepare for boarding.
The pirate ship rams into your own and you quickly get ready for the pirates to board.
You and the captain are two of the first on.
you make eye contact with the enemy pirate captain and engage in a sword duel with light scimitars.
You are able to parry his blows and land a cut on his shoulder, he also cuts your arm. He is bleeding more profusely and you realize that he is out of practice.

> You run him through and stick him to a barrel of gunpowder. you pour rum on the captain and light him on fire. You decide to escape the ship with the captain before it explodes.
The flames light up the sky and you and the captain watch the pirate ship explode.
Later you get a reward, but the captain takes most of it because he provided the ship.
You think you have won the day, but suddenly during the night you are ambushed by the Pirate captain who says, "I am not really left-handed". You are about to be struck dead, when suddenly the Kool Aid Man bursts through the wall and yells, "Oh yeah!" He grabs you and the captain and carries you to safety.
The pirate captain yells after you "We will meet again! Next month's Pirate expansion set will feature me as a character!"
The moral of the story: Kool-Aid is way better than Pirate's Blood.