kyril_grey_two, on a mission to find out answers at Twitch HQ

Posted under Episode 249, Story On By Chief

You are kyril_grey_two. Your original account, KyrilGrey, is still banned. But while you also have kyril_grey__3, you're still confused about how your second account got restored. You have no idea why it was restored either.

> You decide to question people on the street about why your account was restored.
You walk down the street and find that everyone seems to know who you are. Some of them even seem very surprised by this fact.
You march down to Twitch Studios to demand to know why they restored your account.
You stand in a line of three hundred people, all apparently there to complain about their issues with Twitch.
"Jesus," you mutter to yourself.

> You wait until line until your turn is next. You stand up to the clerk and ask why your account was banned.
"Hello there sir," the clerk says. He doesn't look up at you. "How may I help you?"
You scream and the clerks looks up and recognizes you. You are immediately taken to a large office on the top floor to speak with the President of Twitch, John Twitch.
You sit down with John as he speaks.
"Hello, Mr. Grey," he says. "I've heard a lot about you, mostly good things."
You stare at him in silence.
You are confused by his motives and lean in for a kiss. You are ready for him to reject you, but he instead kisses back.
John whispers into your ear "You'll have to excuse the fake closeness, I'm actually in love with another man."
You sigh and look dejected. John tells you to take a seat and shoes you are large monitor that has 10 reasons why your account was unbanned:
1. You are a popular youtuber with 5,000,0000 subscribers.
2. You are extremely talented in music and art. 3. You are an interesting person with an extremely compelling backstory. 4. You are a good person at heart, and 5. your life story needs to be told.

5. Your account connected to an interesting network of friends, and is an interesting case-study in online relationships 6. Your ban was a mistake that caused way too much trouble. 7. Your art is extremely compelling and it's interesting to see the interpretations of your songs by different artists. 8. Your account has brought in a lot of new subscriptions 9. Your return to the internet is good for publicity. 10. You and John are dating, and he wants you to have your account back.

You look at the screen in shock. "Why... Why would you restore my account?"
"I love you," he whispers.
You start to say, "I love you-" but see that he has a large folder of other content creators with hearts drawn around them. You are so angry that he lied to you that you throw him out the window. He is killed instantly.
You are sentenced to 30 years in prison, which you serve with two fellow prisoners. You and John never speak again.

> You host a nightly twitch stream from your prison cell and it is wildly popular.
You host a nightly twitch stream from your prison cell and it is wildly popular.
You begin to build a large following of online fans who all want you to be released.
the judge lets you out early on being "so cute". you visit Johns grave. you tell him you forgive him.
you make your way to the club where you meet samantha. she's dancing on stage for nobody. it's just herself and you talk to her for hours.

> You tell her about your troubled past.
You chat with her and you're really feeling it. You feel like you can trust her, so you tell her your entire backstory real quick. She's crying by the end of it.
She continues to dance through your story, but you feel a closeness with Samantha that you haven't felt in a real long time. When she's done, she invites you to touch her butt. You're really feeling it, so you do. It's really nice.
She takes your hand and place it on her chest. You rub it for a little bit. You look into her eyes and move your face towards hers. You are now kissing.
You're really feeling it. It's the most intimate thing either of you have experienced.
You leave the bar with Samantha, staring deep into her eyes. Suddenly lightning strikes her dead. You look up at the clouds and see a vision of John Twitch with a big smirk on his face.  You're so mad that you gain the ability to shoot fire. You burn John's entire database to the ground, killing 10 people in the process.
The moral of the fucking story: don't try to date online.