Cory Jeldman, a police dispatch officer who likes to sleep with lots of girls

Posted under Episode 246, Story On By Chief

You are Cory Jeldman, a police dispatch officer who likes to sleep with lots of girls. You secretly want to settle down and get married and have kids. One day you find out that Girls only sleep with you because of your really cool name. So you decide to change it into something more appropriate for a guy like yourself.

The new name is "Cory Jeldman" and you're going to be known as "Jeldman Cory".

> You go to a bookstore to meet your future wife.
You go to the bookstore and meet your future wife at a nearby coffee shop. She seems very nice but she doesn't seem interested in you yet. You wonder if this is some sort of test or something?
You lean for a kiss.
"I'm sorry I can't, I have a boyfriend." She says with a charming smile.
You meet her again the next day and this time she has brought her even hotter friend...

> You try to impress her and her friend. You explain why you are interesting and not afraid of commitment.
"I'm not like most guys," you say. "I'm not afraid of committment. I want to settle down and have kids. Why is that so scary?"
The hotter friend likes this. She says, "You seem different, and not bad different. I'll give you a chance. I have to go now though, my boyfriend is coming to pick me up."

> You out of frustration you scream "Cory Jeldman" and give every women within hearing distance a strong orgasm.
The hotter friend takes this opportunity to escape, leaving you with a minor crowd of women hastily getting dressed and fawning over you.
You chase after the hotter friend and ask her to tell you her name. She yells out, "It's Sarah" as she enters a car. Then her door slams and the car drives away.
You think to yourself "I'll remember that name.
You go to the local library and start looking through old yearbooks. You find the hotter girl's full name is Sarah Connor. You recognize that name from The Terminator movies and realize that not only is she your future wife, but she is the savior for humanity. You wonder if you should contact her or let events take their natural course.
You can't wait, so you track Sarah Connor down and and interrupt her while she is on a date with the Jeldman-1000, the perfect robotic boyfriend.
You two immediately hit it off and have a whirlwind romance. You propose to her one month later and she accepts. You get married the next month and have many adventures together.
You list your top ten adventures together:
10. You go to a bar and Sarah beats up three guys who tried to take advantage of you both.
9. You travel back in time and stop a mad scientist from destroying the world.
8. You find a rare bottle of wine worth $20,000.
7. You have two children. twins.
6. You take down a crime ring that was selling drugs to kids in school.
5. You end world hunger.
4. You buy a house for your parents.
3. You take in a stray dog, he becomes the most famous actor in the world.
2. You own your own private island inhabited by supermodels
1. You travel to the stars...
Five years later, you and Sarah are relaxing on your private island when you suddenly get a phone call from a University. They want you to come talk about your adventures.
This gives you an idea...
Year 2035
You sit in front of a large auditorium, waiting for your guest of honor event to begin in an hour. Guests begin to arrive and you are getting excited.
You wait til everyone takes their seats. The are on pins and needles waiting to hear about your life. Then speak loudly and clearly into the microphone, "Cory Jeldman" and leave the room as everyone orgasms. You watch them all leave as a tear runs down your cheek. It is finally over, and you did it.
The moral of the story: If you want to impress a girl, just say "Cory Jeldman" and give her an orgasm.
Year 3050
The orgy has finally ended and you look out into the city of sin.