You are Damarco Manning and you can't stop The Rock. It's impossible, don't even try! Your life, as well as your wife and kids are forfeit. It's over. The Rock has already won. Just give in. You must accept defeat. You can't stop The Rock! You're going to die here today, but at least you'll be with your family. > You try to stop the Rock. Your body screams out for death, but your mind begs you not to let go of it. > You get into your car and speed down the highway away from The Rock, but it's still chasing you. The Rock is gaining on you. > You jump in an ultralight and try to get away from The Rock. The ultralight is much faster than the car and soon you're in the clear. You look back and can barely see The Rock in the distance. You are cold from the altitude and put on a sweater from the Gap that's covered in butter and kombucha. You decide to land the plane to go to the bathroom. As soon as you hit the ground, The Rock hits you. You are dead. The Rock attends your funeral. It gives a eulogy and everything. The Rock starts the Eulogy with a song about your life: Oh Danny Boy, the Lions are calling On this glistening trail of gold Underneath an evening star You rode this trail on Elroy Your heart so brave, your head so strong Your eyes could see what others couldn't Thoughts and dreams entwined within You left this trail long ago And now you ride to where you belong Oh Danny Boy, the shadows call To you beneath the evening star Though now you ride to where you belong > You the rise from the grave and fight The Rock! You hit The Rock over the head with a shovel. "Rob! Don't you know anything? You've dug your own grave!" says The Rock. You are now dead again. You spring back to life and lean in for a kiss with The Rock. "Rob! Stop! This is wrong!" says The Rock, in an attempt to stop you. You are now dead once more. > You smell what the Rock is cooking. The Rock is now making eggs. They are delicious. "Rob, you know you're going to have to start doing the dishes soon." says The Rock. > You say "I did the dishes last night. its your turn" The Rock looks at you. "Rob, don't start with me today. I'm not in the mood," The Rock says as it leaves the room. You are now alone. > You go an apologize to The Rock. You give him his early birthday present, an enchanted diamond pickaxe. You go over to The Rock and say "I'm sorry." "It's all right. I understand," says The Rock. You are now friends with The Rock again. You give The Rock a back massage. "Ah, that feels so good, Rob," says The Rock. You are now having sex with The Rock. "Now I'll always be with you," says The Rock. > You while lying in bed with the Rock, you casually ask him what his weakness is. "I don't have one, Rob," says The Rock. "Oh, well what's in that locked room?" you ask. "Nothing of importance," says The Rock. > You wait until The Rock is away visiting his boulder parents, and you check the locked room. you can't believe what you see:. THE ROCK HAS A WEAKNESS! IN THE FORM OF MORE GOLD! Suddenly, a large shadow looms over you... You are now dead. You are buried in the people's grave until lightning strikes and brings you back. You sneak back into The Rock's gold room and start smashing his gold with a hammer. "YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH GOLD!" you say. This goes on for quite some time. You eventually die again, but it's OK because you have ~love~. The moral of the story: Money can never buy you love.
Damarco Manning can’t stop The Rock
Posted under Episode 244, Story On By Chief