Hawkman, a superhero who has been put in charge of guarding the Justice League’s HQ

Posted under Episode 243, Story On By Chief

You are Hawkman, a superhero who has been put in charge of guarding the Justice League's headquarters. While lounging around JL headquarters, you decide to order a bunch of pizzas. However, the pizza deliveryman can't get inside, because of the security system. You say, "I'll just turn the security system off." After you turn the security system off, Darkseid shows up and blows up headquarters. You have your pizzas, but you lost the Justice League's building. Later, Superman shows up and asks what happened. You tell him about it. He says he knows who did this; Darkseid himself.

The next day, Darkseid comes to Earth and tries to take over again.

> You offer him a slice of leftover pizza.
"Darkseid, I know you're here! Come on let's go!"

He takes one bite out of his pizza and then looks at you with a look like he wants more.
You order another pizza and while you are waiting you lean in for a kiss with Darkseid. He kisses you back and realizes you took his heart!
You begin to laugh and yell, "Now I have your heart! I won't even need to use the last one."
Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom...
Vandal Savage and Lex Luthor are arguing about who will get to use the heart to bring back their dead friend, Ragnorak.

> You offer Savage and Luthor Darkseid's heart if they promise to not commit any crimes for a year.
They agree and the three of you go to Gorilla Grodd's makeshift lab to try to bring Ragnorak back from the dead.
You arrive at the lab and see Bizarro Jason, leader of the AIJL to help the Legion of Doom. Jason is standing next to 10 more villains:  The Joker, Bane, Poison Ivy, Mad Hatter, Cheetah, Killer Croc, Deathstroke, Penguin, Two-Face and lastly Ragnorak.
Gorilla Grodd says he needs a drop of blood from everyone in the lab.  He goes around and cuts everyone's finger, putting one drop of blood into a bowl. He takes the bowl and throws it into the portal. While Grodd is distracted someone knocks him out.
You turn around to see who knocked out Grodd, you are surprised that is is none other than you! Yes, you found a way to go back in time after being hit by the bullet.
You tell everyone that Grodd is actually an alien called a Cyranian.
You go through the portal with your future self and see this weird place. You have arrived in the galaxy of Cyrillia.
The Cyrillians are mainly known for their bloodlust and their brutal ways of war. It is also known that they have a very large supply of weapons and ships for their war efforts.
You challenge every Cyrillian you meet to an arm wrestling competition. You have won over 10,000 ships and 2,500,000,000 troops.
You take your new army to a nearby planet and easily conquer it for its stockpile of weapons.
You are amazed at how easily influenced they are so you start betting that Cyrillians can't fly off this enourmous cliff in front of you. You make a killing.
You command your new army to start building even more ships and weapons. You bring in your own engineers to help get the job done faster.
You list some of the weapons you have in your stockpile:
You list some of the ships you have in your armada:
Now that you are done preparing your plans to take over the galaxy, you decide to celebrate with a few drinks.
You start hitting on Cyriallian women at the bar. You use the following 10 pickup lines: 
You walk away dejected. You realize you'll have to write your own dating guide.
After writing your dating guide, you find that the Cyrillians actually don't respond well to it.
You come up with ten Cyrillians specific pickup lines: 
The next week, you go back to the bar. You approach a woman and use your new pickup line...
She slaps you in the face and yells at you.

> You misinterpret this and think it is "second base" in Cyrillian mating. you hoist the women on your shoulder and stride home.
At home, you begin to try to mate with her.
She starts screaming and wakes up the household.
Your sister walks in, sees what is going on and goes into her room crying.

> You apologize then take your army and go back through the portal to Earth.
You kill Grodd and bring your new army back to Earth. You begin building more weapons. You also begin building an even larger army of 2 million troops.

> You apologize then take your army and go back through the portal to Earth.
You walk in the front door of your house.
You say "I have something to tell you."
Your sister says "What is it?"
You say "I'm leaving."
"What do you mean?"
You order all your troops to point their weapons at you. You salute you sister goodbye as you are blown to bits by a rain of hellfire.
Your sister cries for a week. Your parents are heartbroken. The funeral counts as the largest gathering of people in the history of mankind.
You order all your troops to point their weapons at you. You salute you sister goodbye as you are blown to bits by a rain of hellfire.
Your sister cries for a week. Your parents are heartbroken. The funeral counts as the largest gathering of people in the history of mankind.
(You have completed the first part of the story.
The moral of story: Be yourself.
You may now click "Create New Story" to start the second part of the story or click "Exit" to exit out of the story.