Little Larry, 8-year-old AIPD megafan

Posted under Episode 234, Story On By Chief

You are Little Larry, 8-year-old AIPD megafan! You are having an EPIC Chuckie Cheese birthday party when you spot something in the crane game that makes your jaw hit the floor. It's a first edition AIPD badge replica!! It's jammed near the bottom between a bunch of teddy bears and knockoff Pokemon plushies. But you must have it! But first, you have to convince your parents to buy you a buttload of tokens. You gotta start now or you'll never finish before the pizza is ready!

The only problem? The token booth is closed for refurbishment. You need to find someone who has one.
You decide that since no one is looking, you bust open the token booth and steal a bunch of tokens for yourself. Then you head back home where you spend them all on pizza.

When you get home, your mom is pissed at you.
Your mom asks you how you got all this pizza.  I dunno, you tell her, probably droppings from heaven.
Your mom clearly doesn't believe you, but is so tired and hungry that she doesn't want to start an argument.
You break into the Chuckie Cheese at night and continue to steal. You hide all your stolen goods under the bed and go to sleep.
One day, the Chuckie Cheese token machine is repaired. They count the money and find that it's only missing a dollar, but they immediately review the security footage and find you breaking in.
The police send a S.W.A.T. team to your house and order you to come out with your hands up.  You put your hands over your head in surrender. Unfortunately, you're still holding a Nerf gun which the police mistake for a real gun, and they shoot you before the detective can get there to stop them.
You hire a sleazy lawyer, who happens to be 12 years old, and you sue the police department and win. All of your stolen goods are returned to you, and you're also granted a large settlement which you spend on tickets to another AIPD concert.

> You meet Tony, an AIPD cast member. You're excited to meet him, but when you introduce yourself, he yawns.
"Yeah, yeah," he says.
You give Tony a large bribe to have AIPD perform at your birthday party. He refuses.
You kidnap Tony and hold him hostage until AIPD agrees to perform at your birthday party. He escapes and reports you to the police, who arrest you for kidnapping and extortion.
You call your sleazy 12 year old lawyer to get you out of this mess once again.
The concert is a success.
You continue to stalk AIPD member as you walk free yet again.
You have reached the alternate ending.
AIPD files restraining orders against you.  Regardless of the choices you make from here on in, AIPD will NOT perform at your birthday party.

> You drink orange juice to null the pain.
After drinking an entire bottle of orange juice, you fall out of your chair. You're still alive, but the pain continues and it's only getting worse. You pass out from the pain.
You never wake up.
The police arrest the members of AIPD for a suspected Orange Juice waterboarding that led your death.
You have reached the true ending.
The moral of the story: Never try to meet your heroes.