Luther Von Stiehl, a Male Investigator

Posted under Episode 230, Story On By Chief

You are Luther Von Stiehl, a Male Investigator. You are visiting your friend Professor Angell, a professor of languages who is widely known as an authority on ancient inscriptions. While there, you are imposed upon by a young man of excited aspect, whose card bears the name Henry Anthony Wilcox. He is an artist who is seeking help identifying the hieroglyphics on a strange bas-relief. You look at the bas-relief and recognise the strange design as being identical to that on a papyrus scroll in your friend's possession.
The scroll is a good deal worn and faded, and you regret that you cannot read it.
You have an idea decide to rub a dried up condom on the scroll, it works! Hidden glyphs appear and say:
The people of the island are a lost tribe of 
which came there from somewhere in the East. Other branches 
of the same tribe moved on to the mainland.
You don't know what these means, but maybe Professor Angell will know. You head to Tonyillunimati Island where Professor Angell is doing his research. You show him the scroll. He says that he was not aware that any natives had survived to this late date, and wonders where the people are.
You ask Professor Angell to read the scroll. He says that he can identify the hieroglyphics, which were those of the most ancient form of the Hymadlonian language.

> You ask the professor if the Hymadlonian's survived genetically today.
They did not survive as a people, but their blood has come down to modern times.
You see a muddy stick that somehow solves the final puzzle and place it in your back pocket. You are not sure if it will ever be of use, but picked up the stick anyway.
You hear a thunderous sound:
"Dogs! Dogs!"
A herd of dogs with lizard heads appear over the ridge. 
You shoot a dog and wait until it dies. You hear a strange sound, and see that the dog is shrinking in size, as if it were being pushed back into a figure of past dimensions.
Suddenly a small hole forms where the dog disappeared and appears to be sucking the entire island into it. You toss a dried condom into the hole to see what happens.
You see the entire island sucked into the hole, while a bright light fills your vision and you feel yourself coming to.
You find yourself lying on a bank.
You don't know what to do, but then it hits you! You pull out the muddy stick and put it right in the hole.
You hear a mighty sucking sound.
It is drawing the mud from the stick into the hole and then, as if the phenomenon has been switched off, the noise stops abruptly.
You look around and see the mud forming again.
You taste the mud, it taste like a salty cheese.
You have no idea how to explain the hole or the fantastic creatures you have encountered, but you know enough to understand that the business will be a great puzzle to others as well as yourself.
You realize that you are on the moon! You are looking at the earth and think, "How on Earth did I get here?"
You step into the hole and hope it takes you back home.
You see the earth and then you wake up in your bedroom. You are relieved to be home, but wonder what happened?
You look in your fridge for salty cheese. Instead you find a tin can.
You think about it for a while, but then it all makes sense. You understand the meaning of the strange bas-relief was actually about a portal to a place on the moon!
You wonder if you can replicate the conditions that took you to the moon. You would need volcanic mud and a dried latex rubber.
You pull an old condom out of wallet and say, "Here we go again!"
You walk out back to your garden, snatch a handful of mud and a piece of dried rubber.
The moral of the story: Always carry a dried latex rubber with you.