Tony, the best Professor of Teledildonics

Posted under Episode 228, Story On By Chief

You are Tony, the best Professor of Teledildonics. You work at Wayne State in the Teledildonics department. Your class is the most popular in the whole university, but you only have 23 spots this year.

It is vital that you choose the right people to fill these spots. Too many of one gender, and your class average will drop like a stone.
The 10 students you choose for the program are:

Hanna
Bruno
Arun
Stevie
Brittany
Alexa
Gabriella
Lucy
Zara
Dana
Jennifer
Which one of these students will be the best for the program?

To see who you picked, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click "Continue".
You tell the students competing for a spot that whoever gets you the best gift gets in. The students get you:
Hanna: A box of chocolates
Bruno: A Nintendo DS
Arun: A bottle of Johnny Walker
Stevie: Two tickets to the Jay-Z concert next month
Brittany: A bottle of wine she claims is worth over $1000
Alexa: An old vinyl record. She says she found it in her attic.
Gabriella: Nothing. She says her looks should be enough to secure a spot.
Lucy: A comic book worth $500 she found in her Dad's closet.
Zara: Nothing. She says only losers need to buy gifts.
Dana: A bottle of pepper spray. She claims it could stop a charging elephant.
Jennifer: NONE OF THE ABOVE. BECAUSE ITS NOT ABOUT WHO YOU KNOW, BUT WHO YOU FUCK!!!
You pick everyone except for Jennifer, who you can now ask on a date because she is not your student.
THE END

You walk into the class for the first time, nervous. You sit at an empty seat, trying to blend in. The teacher hands you a syllabus, and begins talking. "You," she points at a student wearing a sweater that is several sizes too big for him, "tell me what the most common sexual fantasy is.

> You say "Having sex with my teacher?"
Because you said that, the teacher gives you a small smile and says, "That's right." She then goes back to the syllabus.
The class continues, and you zone out.
You flashback to present time and you are in the middle of your date with Jennifer. She asks you, "What is on your mind? You see distracted."
You think about how to respond.
You tell Jennifer that there is a TeledildonicsCon going on next door and you want her to come with you.
You say "There is a TeledildonicsCon going on next door and I want you to come with me."
Jennifer looks shocked, but agrees.

> You enter the convention and are treated like a rock star.
The two of you enter the convention. People are staring and whispering about you. You feel really uncomfortable, but Jennifer doesn't show it. She looks as though she has done this several times before.

> You say "Jennifer, how old are you? "
Jennifer looks at you and responds, "I am 20. Why do you ask?"
You say "Just curious."
Jennifer grabs your hand and leads you to a huge machine in the corner of the room.
"Hi mom!" Jennifer exclaims as she spots your old Teledeldonics professor standing next to the huge machine.
The professor turns around and stares at you in disbelief. "Brendon? Is that you?"
"Yep, it's me!" You respond happily.
"My goodness, look at what you have accomplished!"

> You ask your old professor to explain what the huge machine is.
"This machine is going to change the world," your professor explains.
"Really?" This answer intrigues you.
"Yes, it will be the first step towards virtual reality." The professor beams.
The professor then leads you to a seat next to the machine. "You might want to sit down for this."
You sit down and put the headset on, the machine turns on and you almost immediately shoot mozzarella all over the place.
You are now at a party in virtual reality and Jennifer is still standing next to you.
"Do you want to dance or go explore?" She asks.
You dance while exploring.
THE END
You dance while exploring.
THE END
You dance while exploring.
THE END
You dance and explore the entire night. You are having so much fun, you don't want to stop.
The professor is worried about your health and removes your VR headset, unfortunately your mind is never the same.
THE BAD END
The moral of the story: Always wear protection.