Henry Enchilada, an enthusiast of corn-based food living in Iowa

Posted under Episode 228, Story On By Chief

You are Henry Enchilada, an enthusiast of corn-based food living in Iowa. No Nacho November has begun! You have vowed that, for the entire month of November, you will not eat any nachos. This is very difficult for you, because nachos are your favorite food! Temptation comes from all over as you browse the internet and even as you walk the streets! But you must remain strong in order to prove your personal willpower! (There's also many health and emotional benefits of abstaining from nachos, or so you've heard.) As the month drags on, your spirit is tested more and more...	You visit the Farmer's Market to purchase ingredients for a dinner you're preparing. You buy some fresh basil, peppers, tomato, and onion to make caprese salad for the main dish.
As you are about to take a bite of your salad you look down and drop your fork. It's nachos, it's all nachos. In a nacho induced fugue state you have bought hundreds of dollars worth of nacho supplies. This is the most nachos you have ever seen in your life and you don't know how you're going to eat them all...
Better get started.
You check yourself in to Nacho Rehab.
You call your friends to help you eat the nachos, they say they will try to stop by.
You finish off a bag of Doritos. You love Doritos, they are so delicious.

> You admit to yourself that you are addicted to nachos.
You dial your cell phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's me," you say sadly. "I need to get help...Nachos are taking over my life."
"Where are you?"
Jim drives over to where you are staying and brings 50,000 bags of Nachos just to mess with you. Jim says, "It's weird that you are staying at a Nacho Factory."
"It all makes sense now! Only a Nacho Addict would move into a factory that manufactures Nachos!
You realize where you are at and run into the forest.
You arrive at a cave.
"Come on out, Pizza Man. You can't escape your fate."
You grab a stick and turn it into a lightsaber.

> You emerge from the cave and see a giant block of cheese waving a sword.
"I'm sorry, Pizza Man. It was fun while it lasted."
You yell and attack the block of cheese, stabbing through it's heart.
The stick you are holding is reconfigured back into a lightsaber.
You finally break and eat the heart of nachos.
You wake up the next morning in your bed. Your sheets are drenched in cheese. You have a massive headache and can't remember anything. It must've been one hell of a dream...
You level up and gain the follower cheesy powers: You can now shoot strands of Mozzarella.
Time to get some Pizza Hut coupons.
You rush to Pizza Hut and start shooting Mozzarella all over people's pizzas. They all look up and stare at you. You then pass out from a combination of hunger, having a headache, and the fact that you just mopped the floor with a bunch of people.
You see people in the restaurant start to flee, you head outside to see what the commotion is and see a nacho that keeps regenerating and doubling in size every minute. You know what you have to do.
You unleash your light saber's fury upon the beast. It is not strong enough to sustain such power and explodes into a pile of Doritos.

> You realize the Doritos are Cool Ranch flavor, and you scream in agony.
You wake up from your coma two weeks later and find that you have magical abilities. You realize you are the only person who can save the world from the evil Doritos, Munchos, and Cheetos.
You shoot your mozzarella into the exhaust vents at the Frito Lays factory and it explodes. Everyone who worked there is dead, except for the token non-regimen straw-chewer.
"Whaddyagonnado?" he says.
The moral of the story: Everyone should chew their food.