Treadmill Skeleton, a living skeleton who has to be on the treadmill

Posted under Episode 227, Story On By Chief

You are Treadmill Skeleton, a living skeleton who has to be on the treadmill for all eternity for his sins in The house of Tony. You have no life span and your only joy is that you will never age.

> You decide to get a membership at a health club.
You are a human being with a soul, so why should you go to the gym when there are plenty of other places where you can exercise?
You meet CandleJack, the boogeyman, the for-real one and also a life coach. He gives you a really cool hat.
Maybe you can run around a really big tree really fast?
Maybe you could walk up stairs?
Perhaps you could do some mountain climbing in the Rockies, at high altitude, without any oxygen tanks or any equipment?
You ask CandleJack what kind of hat this is, it is super cool. CandleJack tells you the hat is called a toque.
A toque is a really funny looking hat that you only see old grandmas wear.
You are standing around a very big tree, and you start to run around it in circles.

> You run around the tree so much, you start wearing a hole in the ground.
You are now a tree, the biggest one in the world.
You are standing around a very big tree, and you start to walk up it.
You are now a mountain climber, without any equipment.
You level up and gain the following mountain climber related skills:
Mountain Climbing-5
Using Things You Find In A Mountain-1
You are now in a life or death situation. You can either go up the mountain or down the mountain.
You go up the mountain, you see something that you've been training for your whole life. It is a giant treadmill that leads to the top of the mountain. You get on and start walking. You have enough strength to reach the top of the mountain.
You go down the mountain, you see a skeleton on one of those old fashioned exercise bikes, pedaling as fast as it can.

> You borrow the bike from the skeleton.
"Hey!" says the skeleton, "That's my bike." You look at the skeleton, "I'm dead, I don't need it anymore." So you take the bike.
The skeleton starts to chase you.

> You because you are on an exercise bike, the skeleton catches you immediately.
You get hit by a bus.
The bus takes you all the way to Olive Garden. You ask Excercise Bike Skeleton if he'd like to split a Spag Bol.
"Sure," says the skeleton, "but only if you pay."
You are now at Olive Garden.

> You demand multiple breadsticks.
You have now been banned from Olive Garden. You are the only person to ever get banned from there, and it is all because you demanded multiple breadsticks.
The moral of the story: Do not demand multiple breadsticks at Olive Garden.