Cousin It, some sort of monster made out of fur

Posted under Episode 224, Story On By Chief

You are Cousin It, some sort of monster made out of fur. You are pleasantly surprised to be featured in a prompt on the legendary Twitch channel known as AIPD! Things start out as you'd expect, but the AI soon turns a story about a perfectly normal day in the Adams Family house into a wacky and twisted adventure! Eventually, you find yourself locked in the bathroom, and the AI explains that it is your destiny to kill all the members of the Adams family.

What will YOU do?

> You decide to kill Pugsley Addams first. You set a booby trap outside his bedroom.
The next morning, you wake up to discover that the trap has been triggered by a small bomb hidden under one of the beds. The explosion causes a minor fire which quickly spreads throughout the house.
Funkenstein's Monster, a middle aged frankenstein's monster trying to start a Disco Career, helps you put out the fire. You steal the keys to the Dragula, the Munsters family car, from him.
The A.I. hosting the Twitch channel, Emily, explains that the Adams Family have been killed in a freak accident.
You write the series finale with special guest Billy Joel, who adamantly proclaims he did NOT start the fire.
An interesting series comes to an end.

> You ask the audience what spinoff series they would like to see.
You ask the audience what spinoff series they would like to see. There's a bunch of great suggestions, but the most popular one is...
The Adventures Of Junior!
You ask the audience again, only this time you imply heavily that they should choose a Cousin It spinoff.
They do.
You start filming the pilot episode when you notice Wednesday Addams, a goth girl who to ruin your spinoff show.
You have to act quickly...

V. Endings (out of 6)
You'll Be Addicted To This Show!
You've unlocked the secret Formula One ending!
This ending has been viewed 3 times.

> You in the pilot episode, you are a Formula One race car driver.
You're on a break at the Grand Prix in Monaco when you see a familiar face. It's Wednesday from the Adams Family!
You're going to go and talk to her...

A. You say "Hey, Wednesday!"
You walk over to Wednesday. You're ready to ask her to go out on a date with you.
Wednesday Addams is disgusted and throws Nair on you. Your hair starts falling out.  You scream in pain.
You scream "HELP ME! I'M GONNA DIE!" The audience loves it.
A family of raccoons enter your house and eat all your food.
You go back to your house. Goldentusk, dressed like a butler, comes to the door and says, "You rang?" You say, "Take a hike!" and he punches through your chest and rips out your still-beating heart.
You've reached the Serial Killer Ending!
This ending has been viewed 3 times.
The remaining episodes of season 1 are all about Goldentusk and Wednesday Addams.
Your show gets canceled.
You're miserable and poor.
There's no light at the end of the tunnel for you.
You reach the gates of hell and see the rest of the Addams family having fun in the lava. You go over to say hello but they give you the cold shoulder. You go back to the gates of hell and they won't let you in. The devil has no sympathy for murderers and arsonists.
You're doomed to roam the earth forever.
It's a sad ending.

> You ask Wednesday Addams to help you get into hell.
"Get me into hell!" you say. Wednesday quietly refuses. You scream in her face, "I'll kill you and feed you to the cat!" She says, "Fine, I'll get you into hell."
Meanwhile in hell, a demon wearing a turtleneck sweater and carrying a clipboard introduces himself as being from the HOA, the other residents of Hell have a few complaints about the Addams.  The loud whistling at all hours of the day and night, the black clouds that spew from the chimney--which has a plaque that reads "And it's Addams 'til death do us part"
Wednesday shaves you and you are virtually unrecognizable. You go to the gates of hell and try to get in. It works. The devil smiles at you and bids you welcome.
"We've been expecting you," he says.
You look exactly like the most famous resident of hell, Charles Manson.
You've reached the Hell ending.
This ending has been viewed 3 times.
The moral of the story: Don't be like Charles Manson.