Virtual Jason, Pro Wrestler

Posted under Episode 220, Story On By Chief

You are Jason, you are a wrestler who wrestles for AIPD wrestling (which is the best independent wrestling company in Detroit). You are managed by your best friend Cory. You are preparing for your match against Tony "Bonyzone". The referee for the match is Jim Harper.

"Alright listen up, in five minutes we're going live, in the mean time get your mind focused and your body prepared," Jim says.
"I'm ready to go right now," You proclaim.

> You cory grabs your face and says "You're gonna go out and kill em'. Now show me your war face!"
You make the face of someone who is ready to fight, your teeth bared and a killer look in your eyes.
Cory looks at you and says "That's my boy."
You get in the ring with Tony and lean in for a kiss for extra intimidation.  He looks shocked but does it anyway.
The match begins, you begin to beat on him. You hit your lethal punch combo but he manages to block most of the shots.

> You grab a metal folding chair and Tony over the head with it.
You grab the metal chair and hit him over the head as hard as you can, it clangs off his face and he falls back holding his face in pain.

> You hear Cory yell "Give 'em the Double Down!"
You pick up the chair and drop it on his face.
Tony throws sand in your face and bodyslams you.  He picks up his own chair and smacks you in the head with it, you fall to the ground. He throws the chair down and jumps on you for the cover.
Jim is talking to a hot fan and not aware that Tony is pinning you.
"I think we've got a winner," Jim announces.
You watch in horror as the ref counts to three and then realize what happened.
"Son of a bitch," You exclaim.

> You furious, you suplex Jim.
You pick up Jim and throw him over your head, he goes flying out of the ring onto the floor.
"What the hell?" Jim asks looking around at his new position.
Titanic Tim, Saturday Night Slam Master Grand Master, to give Jason a hand, runs from backstage into the ring. You grab your folding chair and swing it at the back of Tony's head. He falls to the ground.
Jim certifies the match.  "And the winner, by knockout, and STILL AIPD United States Champion... JASON RYDER!"
You hear a loud pop as all of the fans are cheering for you.

> You and Tony take the fight back to the locker room.
The two of you enter the locker room and begin to fight. You have him in a chokehold but he catches you with an elbow to the nose, dropping you to the floor.

> You lean into kiss Tony.
The two of you share a passionate kiss, it was everything you imagined it would be. Just as he goes to put his hand under your shirt, someone bursts into the room.

> You hear Cory yell "you gotta get on top of him Jason."
You and your opponent are both on the floor trying to recover. "Come on!" You hear Cory yell.
"If you get on top of me, I can get on top of him,"
Corey screams, "Caress his cheek!"
Corey screams to Caress his cheek. It's a strange order but you trust him.
There is no time to think, you act on instinct and cover your opponent. He was about to recover but now he realizes the need to defend himself.

> You say "Tag me in!"
You roll out of the ring, trying to get some space. The coach looks at you and shakes his head. He sees that you are not prepared and it could be dangerous to tag you in now.
Albert Kumquat, apprentice cameraman on his first day on the job, is worried that he is working overtime and wonders if he will get paid for filming this. He is too scared to tell his boss that he has to go home because he has to wake up early tomorrow for another job.
Albert pins everyone accidentally getting an extreme close up, he is now the new AIPD Wrestling Champion.
You make it back into the ring and tag your partner, he enters the ring and fights off both of his attackers. He is a very capable wrestler and has been doing this for years.
You ask Albert, "What is your other job?"
"I'm a freelance design engineer," he replies, "I designed the AIPD logos but only got paid seventy five dollars.
The moral of the story: get a raise.