Dragon Man, master dungeon master

Posted under Episode 219, Story On By Chief

You are Dragon Man, master dungeon master. You decide to use a six-sided-die to generate a prompt. The first six choices are:	You regain the strength and stamina of a man half your age.
Your legs and feet meld into sharp, scaled claws that can dig through stone like a hot knife through butter.
You gain the ability to spew flames from your mouth like a dragon.
Your eyes become multifaceted and enable you to see in every direction at once..
Your body grows to such a size that you can crush a man beneath your feet.
You become invisible and silent, and gain the ability to meld into the shadow—unseen.

> You think that you're nigh invincible were it not for your one crippling weakness.
You gaze at your reflection in the mirror. It's true, there are a few silver flecks in your hair although they're not that noticeable unless you're really looking for them.
You are about to take on a quest for the king of the realm, when his eyes wander to your hair. You know he is looking at your gray hairs and you spend the whole day crying because you are so self conscious. You are unable to eat or sleep worrying that you will not be chosen because of how "weak" you are.
The next day you go to the royal barber.

> You say "Make my hair strong."
The barber nods, and begins rubbing a foul-smelling oil into your scalp.
You see Tony, a streamer who is famous for his hot-looking hair, sit next you. You stare longingly at his wonderful locks of hair.
You're in the middle of a hedge maze, trying to find your way out. You decide to follow a pair of hot girls. They take forty paths, and then cut across ten.

> You realize you have entered the world of Tony's hair.
Waves of beautiful hair undulate in front of you, beckoning for your caress. They surround you, their sweet smell filling your nostrils as you lie down among them...
Tony appears before you and says, "I will teach you to love your hair more than yourself."
You are in a black void. You see a single strand of your hair floating in the middle of the void.
Then, you begin to grow....
Your heart is now beating at over 300 beats per minute. You have developed the ability to hear the sweat dripping from every strand of your hair. Your veins are filled with adrenaline, and your body begins shaking wildly; you can barely keep yourself upright...
You are now kneeling on the ground. You have passed out.
You awake, lying on the floor in front of the royal barber.
You level up, you have gained the following skills:
You have gained the skill "Selfless Dedication", will increase with each act of bravery.
You have gained the skill "Mathematical Genius", will increase with each mathematical puzzle you solve.
You get up and take a look in the mirror, you are completely bald.
Your beautiful, flowing hair has been sacrificed so that the party may live.
Tony presents you with a locket, inside is you last remaining lock of hair. 
Tony presents you with your last lock of hair. 
You now have "Mathematical Genius", you can see the patterns in the world around you.
You now have "Selfless Dedication", and can do incredible deeds of bravery.
You, with your new found confidence, continue on your quest for the King.
You are the chosen one.
You complete your quest and return to the King, when the king takes his crown off, you see he has fucking amazing hair. He is so happy he gives you anything you wish for, but you ask for the kingdom's best barber.
You hand the barber your little lock of hair and tell him to do the best he can.
He shakes his head and says "I'm sorry son, but I can't style this masterpiece."
Your heart sinks as you realize you have been tricked by the devil and his craftiness.

> You spew fire out of your mouth in rage!
The fire quickly spreads out of control.
You burn the barber and everyone in the kingdom.
You are now a force of destruction, destroying everything that God has made.
Tony appears shirtless on a hill, his locks flowing in the wind, he is wielding a golden comb and challenges you to battle.
"You have been tricked, and now you shall face the consequences."
You battle for many days and nights, burning everything beautiful that you find, but then...
You are struck down.
With your last bit of energy, you lean in for a kiss with Tony's hair.
You face has been burnt to a crisp, and everything else is black and smoky but you find your lips meeting with something cold and hard.
You lie, broken and burnt, on the ground.

> You realize Tony was wearing a wig the whole time.
You were tricked by a trickster.
You burn in hell, for all eternity.
The moral of the story: don't fuck with a trickster.