Broccoli King, ruler of all sentient food in the kitchen

Posted under Episode 219, Story On By Chief

You are a piece of broccoli named the Broccoli King, You rule all the sentient food in the kitchen. One day, Someone decides to cook you and wants to eat you. Only all you need to do is survive this!	You open your eyes to see what appears to be the main area of a cafeteria. A girl with a braid is staring at you, and it looks like she's trying to decide what to do.
She runs up and snatches you off the tray. You try to fight back, but she winds up pulling you off the tray and into her purse. You can see a few other fruits and vegetables peeking over the top of the bag as she closes it.

> You talk to the fruits and vegetables in her purse.
"Hey, why am I in your purse?" You ask.
She doesn't answer. You see her open her lunchbox and slide you into it. You notice other fruits and vegetables in there with you.
You stage a prison break and just as she is about to eat lunch, you explode out and manage to hide in a mouse hole. You continue to evade death for the rest of lunch and avoid being eaten. Only time will tell if you can stay away from the lunchlady...
You are greeted by a man who lives in the walls miša Jovanovič,AIPD fan and lead guitarist for the rock band the Demon Goats. He's holding a bowl of instant noodles and wearing a night cap.
You decide that to rally the food in the kitchen for the coming battle, you need a theme song. You ask miša to write one, and it goes like this:

> You rock out to the song.
You rock out to the song for 15 minutes. The food in the cafeteria is ready to work with the forces of good and evil. You will be able to teach both heaven and hell a lesson...
You sound the horn and start your assault starting with the lunchlady. She is taken by surprise.
"NO I'LL EAT YOU!" She screams as she attacks you with a ladle.
Behind her, the kitchen starts to fill with food fighting on your side.

> You and the food swarm begin to topple the lunchlady and cover her.
She is covered in food and she stands up screaming.
"NO, NO, NO DON'T EAT ME!" She screams as the food attacks her.
You rip her to shreds and throw here in the cafeteria industrial sized meat grinder.
You're still hungry...
This is a great idea, and this will be the first step in the revolution against heaven and hell.
In twenty-four hours, there will be a riot in the cafeteria.

> You post a sign in the cafeteria that says: Today's special - mystery meat!
You walk up to the chalk board and write out "Today's Special - Mystery Meat".
You take one step back and smile. The cafeteria should be packed.
In the middle of lunch, you strike! All the of students and staff are taken by surprise. They run to the lunchlady for help, but then notice she is dead.
"Wha... What happened?" a student asks.
"Your god has risen, and he's hungry!

> You order Big Smoke, a giant smoked salmon, to attack the students.
You snap your fingers and Big Smoke attacks a student.
The student tries to escape, but Big Smoke is relentless. The student's screams are music to your ears.
A student tries to pull the alarm, but Big Smoke eats it.  The smoke alarm goes off, sending Big Smoke into a frenzy. He's like a shark that caught the scent of blood.
The students are trampled by Big Smoke.
You successfully take over the lunch room.
Soon, the school's students are flocking to your position.
The cafeteria is full of moaning heads, severed limbs, and blood.
The food forces name you king of Lunchladyland.
Big Smoke has eaten 10 students, 30 pieces of chalk, the smoke alarm, and a broken broom handle.
You now control the cafeteria...
It's time to take the world...
The moral of the story: The weak will be eaten.