Goldentusk II, the Heir to the racoon kingdom

Posted under Episode 217, Story On By Chief

You are Goldentusk II, the Heir to the racoon kingdom. The year is 1167, all is going well in your woodland realm and you rule well from the fortress of Yewstone. One day you hear of a rival king calling himself Oaktopus the Bold and send out a group of your boldest knights to assassinate him. Riding with you are a regiment of knights including...	
You may choose one of the following knights to accompany you:
The Knight of the Hawk: A young but successful knight, she is leader of this mission. Quiet and reserved but deadly when roused. She often kills from far away with her bow and is an expert huntswoman.
A mighty warrior from a far off land, the Knight of the Owl is a large fellow but craves battle.
You decide to take both of them, and the Hawk and the Owl go with you to the squirrel kingdom. You stand at the head of your army with your lieutenants to each side. The snowy mountain air is harsh and cold, but you are eager for this battle.
You see a thousand squirrels lined up ready for battle along the mountain ridge opposite you. You are slightly outnumbered but that's not a problem, your knights on horseback will easily overtake their scrawny mounts.
You grab your weapon, the axe of your ancestors, and charge into battle.
The first few minutes of the battle are fierce and bloody, but you break their lines and push them back. You engage them with your axe, scattering the squirrels like ninepins.
The lead battalion of squirrels on turtles charges you.  The knights on horseback manage to trample many of them, and the turtles bellow and moan as their shells are crushed.
You feel the ground rumble as you see a giant squirrel ogre stomping your way. He towers above the fray, flinging squirrels in every direction and grabbing others in his ogre fists to squeeze them into paste.

> You launch a giant walnut at the squirrel to distract him.
You grab a giant walnut and throw it at the ogre's head. It bounces off his forehead and he grabs you with a roar. He squeezes and crushes you in his fist, killing you instantly.
The Knight of the Hawk casts a revive spell on you and you are brought back to life to continue the battle.
You are no longer head of the kingdom as you were killed by the giant squirrel ogre, but because you had such a great battle some remember you with admiration.
You decide that the way to become King again is to single handedly kill the Squirrel Ogre. You hop on it's back and severe it's spinal cord with your axe. It bellows in pain and dies, as you are proclaimed king once again.
You hear war horns blowing as you see Oaktopus the Bold riding towards you with a contingent of soldiers. You have fought bravely and won, but his army is larger.
You may choose to meet him in single combat to settle the matter or have your army meet his on the battlefield.
You choose to fight Oaktopus in single combat and a makeshift arena forms, you see a table with many weapons on it: a blacksword, a falchion, a handaxe, a shortsword and throwing knives. You have your axe.
The two of you charge each other and clash weapons. His two hand sword does incredible damage, but you are saved by the small feather token you found in the forest years ago, it deflects the worst of the blow.

> You cast a choketopus spell on Oaktopus. He grabs his throat.
You cast a potent choking spell on Oaktopus. He grabs his throat and falls to the floor gasping for air. You place your foot on his chest and stab him through the heart with your axe.
The squirrels bow to you, you have now become the King of the raccoons AND the squirrels. You make your home in the heart of the forest.
One night in your chambers you are introduced to the squirrel queen who is Oaktapus's widow. She thanks you for slaying the tyrant and offers you his most prized posession. A rare and ancient sword that has been passed down through his family for centuries.
Shadowfang, trained ninja assassin squirrel, still loyal to the old order, comes into your chambers angry. You lean in to kiss him. He backs away, saying he's happily married to the squirrel queen. He would never betray her like that.

> You say "Kiss your blade, then," you say as you lift the ancient sword "
Shadowfang kisses his blade and runs it through you. He winces as he sees the last traces of life fade from your eyes. Shadowfang cries and holds you, it was a valiant death.
The moral of the story: Never have a pet raccoon, especially one that is trained to kill.