Jake, a normal-ish person in collage that just wants to die and stuck in a death loop

Posted under Episode 214, Story On By Chief

You are Jake, A normal(ish) person in collage that just wants to die.

You drink 5 monster energy's a day and are stuck in a death loop that you are unaware of.

The only way out is to kill the last living being on this plane or be killed by it.

You go in search of the last living being.

You find him. He is a skeleton wearing a robe. "How do I know you aren't an agent sent here by some higher power?" he asks.

You convince him to duel with a game of tic tac toe for his immortality.

Winner takes all!

You are worried you might lose, so you decide to cheat.

You tell your opponent that if he wins, you will let him live. If he loses, then you win. The winner gets to keep everything. The loser must eat dirt forever.

You tell him "Look over there" and point over yonder. You then move the pieces when he isn't looking.

> You lose You feel like shit after this loss. You have no idea how you survived such a thing. You don't even remember anything about the fight except the smell of your own blood. Your body hurts from the pain of your wounds and you can barely stand up anymore. You fall down dead.

You on your next try you challenge the skeleton to a kissing contest.

He accepts.

You vomit mud into his mouth, you are confident that you will win the kissing contest now.

And you do...until you realize that you actually kissed him before he died.

You see Jason, one of the few survivors. His clothes are covered in butter, but he seems like a nice guy.

"I won't lie, I was scared too". he says. "So were we". you say. "But I guess we did something right". You both laugh as you walk away. It's funny that you didn't think about it until now, but maybe dying wasn't so bad. Maybe life was worth living.

Jason shows you the way of butter and you learn to control your gambling addiction.

After a year passes you meet again. You are both lying on a bed of grass. "We're alive" you say. "What happened?". "It was a long story, but the short version is, Jason gave me a potion that made me immortal. Turns out, I drank it every night for three years straight, which turned my skin green".

You realize the Incredible Hulk had a horrible drinking problem.

"Well, I'm glad you're not dead". "Yeah, I am". you reply. "So what is our new plan? We still haven't found any other people who can talk to each other, or at least any that are willing to help us". "Well, first off, I need to ask, are you going to be joining us permanently?"

You say no, you have dedicated your life to the way of the butter.

You are ready to give up everything else to follow it forever. "Oh no, I want to stay on this plane, but I also want to explore the world, I've always wanted to travel!" This is exactly what you want.

You go to the world's butter museum.

There you find many books that explain how the Butter Cult works. You read them all. And they all make sense. They are all written by the same man, a wizard called Master Egg-Whisper. Master Egg-Whisper has lived since the beginning of time. In fact, he is older than you. But he has never traveled outside the island.

You see a woman with an incredibly sexy body and an ugly face and ask if she wants to join a butter cult with you.

She agrees, but only if you take her to the island where the butter is grown. She is very excited and asks you to come back with her when you are done. When you get to the island, you are surprised to find that it is much different than what you thought. There are trees everywhere, flowers blooming and animals running around.

You ask the butter-face woman if she wants to butter wrestle.

She does, and you immediately start to wonder why the heck she doesn't want to do that. You get to the top of a mountain and look down. You see a valley filled with trees and plants. You see a small bridge leading to a cave. You enter the cave. You notice the cave has several rooms.

You open the room containing the magical butter sword that will grant you ultimate power and sexual prowess.

The woman laughs and says she thinks you should leave now, because you are getting hungry and thirsty. You agree. You wander through the caves until you finally find a large cavern. You see a giant hole in the ground. It leads to another dimension. You run towards the hole and jump into it. You land in a strange place. You are naked.