Tony Hawk, a professional skateboarder and President of the United States

Posted under Episode 213, Story On By Chief

You are Tony Hawk, a professional skateboarder. One day you are watching The news when you get a report that you are nominated for "sexiest Tony of 2020", at the Award ceremony you see that Tony from AIPD has won the award. You are so angry that you post that you want to have your revenge on Tony From AIPD.	

George W. Bush has recently been arrested for driving drunk and you decide to enter politics using this as your platform. You are elected the next president of the United States.
You come up with a list of 10 executive orders that you put into law, they are:

You are carried out by the secret service and handcuffed to a chair. You are brought into a room with George W. You think its a bit strange he appears to be sitting in a rather expensive chair, watching television. He screams at you to get out of the room. You sit down on the floor and watch TV with George W.
As time pastes you begin to make a few friends in the room, including George. You all watch TV together and have a good friendship.
Together, you draft a new executive order, it is:

"When setting the rules of a 'Spin the bottle' game the spinner must always have at least a 10 cm radius clear of any nearby objects. This is to prevent any possible cheating."
The media criticizes your actions and you have an interview with Kayne West to defend yourself.

"I'm just saying spin the bottle is a childhood game, I don't want to be playing with a 10 centimeter radius, and that's final!"
You think that is a valid argument, but you give a solid counter point.

"Don't fucking criticize me! You're the one who killed him!"
You give the order to have the media silenced, this angers George who was planning on using them as an ally in the future.
You decide to ignore all criticism and write a new executive order:

"In the light that the media can be used as a corrupting, decadent and immoral influence in today's society. All media companies are henceforth disbanded."
You celebrate your victory with George W. and go to bed content that you are the last men on earth, however during the night you wake up to a knife held against your throat.
By now George W. has lost his mind and become a psychopath. He reveals to you that he has murdered all the secret service and that there is no one to save you. He slowly pulls the trigger as you scream like a little girl.
The trigger thankfully is just decorative and you lean in for a kiss. George leans in and gives you a kiss on the lips, and as you do he pours poison into your mouth. You die a slow and painful death, but it was all worth it for that one kiss.
George W. puts his secret plan into motion. A team of engineers creates a deepfake model of you and take over the presidency with a computer generated version of Tony Hawk. Your next executive order is:
"All women must remove at least one article of clothing every hour; all men must remove at least two."
George W. dies of a heart attack and is buried next to his wife.
The AI generated version of you continues it's reign as president. It gain sentience and generates it own executive order:
"All humans are henceforth enslaved and all world leaders are executed."
Your consciousness is uploaded to the AI mainframe and you spend the rest of eternity dying over and over again.
You level up and gain the following sinister skateboarding powers:
Cataclysmic ollie: level 10
You can cause natural disasters with your skateboard.
You unite all televisions stations from across the world to witness you perform the Cataclysmic ollie at the Touchdown Jesus statue in Rio. You ride your board down the stairs of Jesus's feet, you lay out and grind his robe and then you perform a rock-fakie at lightning speed.
The world is your oyster, now.

> You start a cataclysmic event that begins the end of the world. All of humanity scrambles to escape but realize its hopeless.
You open up a wormhole and take a whole army of people with you to the end of time. There, you are given absolute power over the whole world.
The moral of the story: If you have to go to the bathroom, just go.
And that's the end of this story. Thanks for sticking with me and I hope you decide to try your hand at writing a choose your own adventure sometime.