Glenn, a security guard for a museum

Posted under Episode 211, Story On By Chief

You're Glenn, a security guard for a museum. It's your job to guard the outside of the museum. However, one night, you hear lots of strange noises coming from the inside of the museum. You go inside and see the inside guard who is attempting to stop a thief from taking priceless paintings. You grab an expensive statue and try to throw it at the thief. However, the statue hits the inside guard who plops to the ground. The thief successfully grabs a painting and runs out the window. It was a long fall and the glass had been broken earlier by the thief, so he didn't even need to open it. Who do you chase and why?
You chase the thief, but there is no way you'd survive the fall, so you take the elevator. When the thief gets outside he notices that there are two people standing next to his motorcycle. They are both wearing black ski masks and brandishing guns. He leaves the painting where it is and goes back inside.
The thief comes up to you and says, "Help, I'm being robbed!" Since you don't want to be labeled as a security guard who allows priceless paintings to be stolen, you help the thief by fighting off the people robbing him.

> You apprehend the thieves and pick up the painting. As you look directly at it you are sucked inside the painted world.
You find yourself in a large room with the painting you were just looking at. It is blank, except for a single candle placed on the floor. A small door is seen in the corner of the room.
You open the small and walk through, you are shocked to see that the door opens up in the middle of a forest. It is daytime, but it is very cloudy so the light isn't all that great.

> You see a man in the distance. He introduces himself as Gregor, the cursed knight.
You decide to follow the man through the forest. He has pointy ears and claims to be a wizard, which makes you a little nervous.
"So... why does a wizard need someone to protect him?" You ask.
"I didn't say I needed protecting, I said I needed someone to help me accomplish a certain goal. I'm sure you're skilled enough to do that." Gregor replies.

> You say "What are you trying to accomplish?"
"I'm trying to get a woman back home." The wizard explains.

> You say "I'm not a pickup artist, but I'll try my best."
You walk through the forest with the wizard, and see a castle a few miles away.
"There it is." Gregor says.
"Not a very big castle." You reply.
Gregor starts getting irritated with you.  "Look, I may have asked for your help, but that doesn't mean you can insult the castle I'm trying to get back to!"
"Who says I can't?" You retort.

> You enter the castle and see the woman in the courtyard. She is very average looking.
You enter the courtyard as Gregor follows. You see a large amount of people and creatures in distress there. They all seem to be waiting for something... or someone.
You see Michael Jackson in the crowd and as you notice him, he moonwalks through a wall. You turn to Gregor in shock, but he's already noticed it.
"That's a good sign." He says as he summons a pentagram into the middle of the courtyard.
"What is?"
Gregor summons his pet bone dragon in the pentagram, you summon a Non-Cursed Doge, such original. The two run around, destroying parts of the courtyard due to their clumsiness.
"We need to keep them in the pentagram until they pass the 13 minute mark.

> You go over to the woman, because Gregor is too shy to talk to her.
You go over to the woman and get in line behind her. A half hour passes of boring excuses as to why you're late, but then it's your turn.
You list the excuses:
"Hi, my name is Jacob and I'm here to see the Wizard." You list.
"Hello Jacob, my name is Jennifer. The Wizard will see you now." She stands up and walks away.
You think this would be better if the castle was bigger, so you pull out Reindrob's Magnification Ray ™ , to make the castle bigger. After using it, the line is still extremely long, but that's because most people here are named Jacob.
You try to open the door to see the Wizard, but it is too big too be opened by yourself.

1. You call upon the power of the pentagram to help you.
2. You wait in line like everyone else.

> You ask Gregor for help opening the door.
You walk over to Gregor, who is arguing with a large furry creature.
"No, I will not let you through the pentagram. No matter how much you beg."
You try to intervene.
You accidentally knock yourself and Gregor into the pentagram and have to fight the large creature.
You struggle to survive, but manage to defeat the creature.
"Thanks for your help." Gregor says.
The moral of the story: Don't try to be a hero.