AI Self Generating Adventure: Matti, a gardener

Posted under Episode 211, Story On By Chief

This is a tale about a man named Matti. You see Matti is a gardener and his job is to look after the plants at the local university. He likes his job but he also likes drinking. Every day he would go to work and at the end of the week he would get paid. Every week he would go into the tavern across town and drink for the entire week's pay. One day the tavern keeper came to him and said that he would have to pay for his drinks each time he wanted to drink. This sounded fair to Matti so he kept on going to the tavern and just paying for his drinks as he went. One week, Matti did not have much money so he decided just to drink at home.
You see a flyer at work for Alcoholics Anonymous. You give them a ring and they meet at the Community Center every Thursday evening. Matti goes to several of these meetings and gets sober. He quits drinking and starts saving his money.
You quit your job and attempt to start your own Greenhouse Community Garden. You fail and have to move back in with your parents.
A friend brings by a 144 pack of Natural Light to cheer you up. You stare at it in the corner of your parents' basement and think about your sobriety.  Your heart starts to race. You decide that just one wouldn't hurt and crack open a can.
You black out at 11:15pm with a Miller High Life Light hanging out of your mouth.
You parents see you like this and tell you to enter rehab or move out.

You decide to...
You call your friend Ben and he comes right over. You have a good time together and laugh at all of the crazy shit you have done in the past.

> You have a drinking contest with Ben. The loser has to go to rehab.
You and Ben decide to settle the contest with a drinking competition. You have been around Ben when he has drank before and you know he can take it. You are not so sure about yourself.
You use Reindrob's Magic Wand ® to win the competition easily. Ben asks if you want to get "wet"?  You say sure and head to the bathroom. There Ben turns on the shower, strips off all of his clothes, and hops in. He asks you to join him.

> You get the in the showed with Ben, and you take turns dropping the soap.
You and Ben play around in the shower for a while. You have never been naked with another guy before and you sort of like it.
You are having so much fun that you lose track of time.
You grab your novelty great sword off the wall and show it to Ben. You tell him this sword saved your life when some bad people were trying to kill you.
You begin to get hungry and remember that you didn't eat anything today.
You get lunch with Ben, you go to your favorite restaurant and order the #7 large combo meal.
You pull the ring that says "Do you love me" off of the cake and give it to Ben to put on your finger.

> You ask the manager if you and Ben can use the employee shower.
The two of you head to the employee shower. You undress and get into the shower. It isn't long before your body starts to react to the naked man standing next to you.

> You your body reacts in the following ways:.
You are a little embarassed and turn away from Ben.
Ben moves closer to you and says that everything is going to be OK.
You ask Ben to give you an answer to your marriage proposal to him.
Ben says yes to your marriage proposal.
You buy rings at Zales and have them engraved. You marry Ben on June 21st, 2013.

> You move to Virginia and open a bed and breakfast with Ben.
You marry Ben and three months later you purchase a large house in Virginia. The two of you move into the house and begin fixing it up.
Fast forward to 2020, you and Ben are happily married with two twin boys. You never completed your degree but Ben has been promoted several times at AT&T and the family is doing well.

> You sometimes you look in the backyard and think to yourself a greenhouse would look nice there, but then you tell yourself to stop being silly.
You and Ben have been married for five years now. You and Ben both had 20 year high school reunions recently. You ran into some old friends.
One of your old classmates asks you, Hey Matti, how's the greenhouse?
You look at him and say, What greenhouse?
The old classmate looks around and says, You didn't used to have a greenhouse here.
You think about this a minute then reply, No we didn't.

> You say "I actually gave up on the greenhouse and turned gay"
You say, The greenhouse is a figment of your imagination.
You then say to yourself, I've given up on my dreams a long time ago. Dreams are for kids.
The moral of the story: "Insanity is a lot like pregnancy: everyone has it, but not everyone acknowledges it."
~ Matti Haywood.