Mr. Appetite, a fast-food manager

Posted under Episode 209, Story On By Chief

You are Mr. Appetite, a fast-food manager. One afternoon, your stomach is growling, so you go into the kitchen where you see dozens of employees preparing dozens of meals. You are so hungry that you start grabbing the meals and start eating them. One of the employees says, "The food's for the customers." You reply, "Sorry, but I'm hungry. Go make the customers something else."  What will happen?
"You are now a homicidal maniac who should be taken out back and shot."

> You are taken out back, but you see a dumpster and start eating food out of it.
You eat all the food in the dumpster and laugh. "I'm not going to die!"
You get caught by the store manager and he installs a lock on the dumpster. You are getting hungry, when you see Cory, a guy carrying a delicious-looking bucket of chicken.  You grab the bucket from him and say, "Thanks." He says, "Hey, give that back!" and tries to grab it from you. You keep running and devour the chicken.

> You eat the bucket, too.
The food gives you tons of energy, and you can't wait to devour more delicious food, so you find yourself heading to the closest Olive Garden. You love Olive Garden.
You get unlimited breadsticks and are asked to leave after getting 2 orders. You stumble out of the place and see a pet store. You see a ton of dogs in the window that you are convinced are starving. You go inside and say, "I would like some dog food."

> You run into Randy Brandy, a stoned Olive Garden waiter, inside the pet store. You buy some weed off him and it give you the munchies.
You get so hungry during your meal that you keep yelling at the waitress, "I haven't been served my food yet!" and see a family with some kids.

> You what you thought was the family is the pet groomer with a couple of yorkies. Suddenly ALF enters, and asks if you want to get in a cat-eating contest.
You say, "Sure." and quickly down your food, ALF downs a cat. Then you go to the bathroom and meet a really hot girl who says, "Hey, do you want to go somewhere private?"
You have sex with the woman for breadsticks. Then you see an old lady who is actually the devil and tries to kill you.
"What?" you say.
She says, "Ha ha! You fell for it! Now come with me!" You try to run away, but she hits you with a spatula. You disappear, never to be seen again.
"What?!" you say.
"You disappear, never to be seen again."

> You wake up in the Olive Garden, and you are wearing a uniform. "Welcome to Hell," the devil says.
You begin working, but it's not so bad. You get free breadsticks and unlimited soda. However, you have to listen to outdated music on repeat.
You look up at the sign and see a new tagline: When you're here, you're fucked. You laugh briefly.

> You spend 10,000 watching a training video.
You watch a training video about how to make the perfect tomato sauce. The video is very interesting.
You attempt to put the unlimited breadsticks promise to the test, you eat until another demon stops you.
He says, "If you eat anymore breadsticks, you'll explode."
You say, "I'm dying anyway. Bring on the explosion."
The demon shrugs, and you continue eating breadsticks.
The Olive Garden of Hell starts running out of breadsticks. The devils pleads with you to stop eating and offers you a wafer thin mint.  You refuse.
When the breadsticks run out, you explode.
The moral of the story: If you're going to Hell, don't do it the fat way.