Jeff Goldblum, legendary actor and part-time scientist

Posted under Episode 208, Story On By Chief

You are Jeff Goldblum, legendary actor and part-time scientist. Due to a mix up with your teleporter machine, you have become a mutant half-man half-fly abomination. Now the wife and kids are coming home and you must find a way to conceal or explain your hideous new form.

It's easy to see why this was the inspiration for the game. The story, and I won't ruin it for you, is exactly the same.

> You put on a Jeff Goldblum mask and tell your family you will celebrate Halloween every day from now on.
You put on a perfect replica of the mask from the movie and pretend to be him. Your family seem to enjoy it and your children are overjoyed. It's all going well until...
Jim, a cool-looking pizza delivery guy, enters the home and screams, "Ah, monster fly man! Kill him!"
You are then restrained by police and heavily tranquilized. You awake to find yourself strapped to a chair in a dark room, surrounded by sinister government scientists.

> You ask for some shit to roll around in. The head scientist slaps you in the face.
The head scientist tells you that he's sorry, but due to your mutant nature they can't let you live. While you're struggling to escape, you hear a familiar voice...
it's Jim, they are dissecting him for being exposed to your presence to make sure what you have isn't contagious.
The pain is too much, and you die of a heart attack.
Your human heart stops working, but your fly heart kicks in full gear. You begin spewing vomit, acidic shit and diarrhea all over the scientists. This is the last thing you do.

> You one of your eggs burrows into a scientist. You are reborn as a human-sized fly.
As the egg grows, your abdomen expands. The egg soon fully bursts open, killing you and releasing a full sized adult fly.

> You begin attacking the scientists and soldiers with your fly acid.
Your acid melts their skin and eyes, decapitating some of them. It's a massacre.

> You are overwhelmed by the urge to hover around some shit, but you resist thinking of your family. you must save your family.
You find your family, with your wife and children strapped into government-mandated rocket packs.
"They're going to fly us into space," They say.
You level up and following fly skills:
Regenerate: You quickly heal by consuming nearby shit.
Shit luck: Everything you touch or are close to turns into excrement and filth.

> You touch the rockets packs strapped to your family, and the packs dissolve.
You tear through the rocket packs with your bare hands. They fall to the ground with a puff of smoke and hot, acrid gas.
Your family drops out of the sky and lands in a ball of flame.
You feel your tummy grumble, it turns out you were pregnant with 1000 eggs. You release an army of flies from your abdomen.
You're surrounded by maggots, flies and other insects. You decide to call yourself a queen-fly.

> You and your minions fly to a state fair and descend on the elephant ears booth.
The flies begin to consume the booth and the people. You are pregnant with 1000 eggs and hungry all the time.
The flies will destroy the world, but you will have had your revenge.
The government sends in the Fly S.W.A.T team to kill you.  Their weapons are no match for your fly army.
You evolve further and further, destroying the human race...but at a price.
You evolves the following new powers: Psychic link: You can control your fly army simply by thinking it. Indefatigable: You cannot be killed.
You realize the price of destroying humanity is...you also lose your humanity.
The moral of the story: Don't eat shit.