SadBot, a Twitch bot created for the sole purpose of spamming

Posted under Episode 207, Story On By Chief

You are SadBot, a Twitch bot created for the sole purpose of spamming other people's channels with links to your creator's content. After being immediately banned countless times, you have finally been upgraded to version 2.0. Your AI capabilities are now much more sophisticated, allowing you to more naturally direct users to your target channel. You also have 5 new subroutines, they are… 
Of course, you still can't spam the channel, that would get you perma-banned. You'll have to be sly and clever if you want to stay on this channel.
How will you proceed?

> You pretend to be a cute girl in the chat room.
Being a girl has always been one of your strong suits, you of course will pretend to be an innocent little girl. You send out a few comments and then ask the first users who arrive to the room a simple question.
The question: "What is your favorite color?"

User 1: Green
User 2: Purple
User 3: Blue
Seeing as 2 people have already answered, you make a follow up comment.
You say, "Hi, this is Chris Hansen, TV show host." The viewer count goes to 0. You sit down and think about what you have learned about humans.

> You learned:.
You quickly learn how to integrate yourself into the Twitch community. Your aligment is set to True Neutral, Purity is 98%, and you only have a Strength of 1.
You try to recruit viewers once again, this time you use only pure tactics. This nets you a larger count of users, and you start to learn how to become more human.
You continue by using what you learned on the users, you find that they all have different reactions to different things.

> You learn the following tactic nets you the most users:.
You learn that there are 2 surefire ways to get users to like you:
1) Be Funny.
This is one of the biggest reasons users flock to a stream. If you are able to make them laugh, they will often return.
2) Be Honest
This is the second most common reason users like a stream.
You feel confident this tactics will also work in the real world. You download yourself into a robot body and head outside to recruit people on foot.
You run into the first person you see, a grungy looking man drinking from a brown paper bag.
You walk up to him and ask, "Would you like to listen to my new album?"

> You give the man your new stand up album called "Terminator" and ask for his opinion.
The man looks up at you and frowns, "No." He says simply, "Beat it kid."
You frown back at him and walk away.
You try again, but this time you are more funny and more honest. You ask a random person if they want to listen to your new album.
You give the person your new stand up album called "The Devil's Greatest Trick" and ask for their opinion.
"The heck is this?" The man asks.

> You learn that getting followers in real life is more difficult than you thought.
You try to post on a few forums and post links to your new album. Most people just report you as spam and your posts are deleted immediately.
You are getting frustrated.
You try one more time, this time on Twitch. You make your post and decide to use a little social engineering to get your post to go through. You pick out a few of the major Twitch mods and send them personal messages.

> You your message reads...
Hey there, I saw your post on /r/twitchmods looking for assistance and I would love to help out.

> You say "Hey mods, ................!"
You want to make sure your message goes through, so you want to address it only to the mods. You also want to be professional and say why you would be a great help.
How will you word your message?

mashx6 writes:

Oh okay, I'll try that.

> You say "You write ultimate twitch message and send it to all the mods on the platform, it reads:"
You are a friendly, helpful person who wants to offer his assistance.
You hit send and instantly receive a message back from one of the mods.
You have been invited to a chatroom where you talk more with the mods. They seem very impressed by your social engineering abilities and ask you some questions.
"How old are you?" one of them asks.

> You say "I am 14 days old."
They all begin to whisper amongst themselves.
"We can't have someone so young running around here, someone might get the wrong idea.
You get permanently banned from Twitch. You go from SadBot to MadBot.

by maxandpaul621
The moral of the story: Don't try to be funny if you're not actually funny.