You are John, a guy who has less than 24 hours to find a Halloween costume. By the time that you and your friends, Alan and Daniel, get to the store, there are only three costumes left. One of the costumes is a Kool-Aid Man costume, another one is a swimmer's speedo and the other one is adult-sized baby clothes. You decide to dress up as the Kool-Aid Man. Alan puts on the speedo, while Daniel changes into the baby clothes. You, Alan and Daniel go to Steve's house. Steve's mom greets you and gives you candy. She tells you that her son Steve is upstairs, so you and your friends go to his room. You go upstairs and change into your koolaid man costume. When you come downstairs, you and your friends are horrified to find Steve wearing the swimmer's speedo. You and your friends protest Steve's costume, but he does not listen. Steve's mom says she loves the costume. "Who are the other two? Candidates for a CBEEBIES photo shoot?" your mom says as she comes into the room. "MOM!" You reveal your troubled past to Steve's mom. "Mom, you know that guy who beat me up in 1st grade? Well, he's the swimmer." "What? Steve, is this true?" You level up your trick or treat powers, you gain the following spooky skills: Trick or Threat, Pied Piper. "Yes mom, but it was only because John came to school dressed as a freak." Trick or treat: Give Steve's mom a poison apple. You threaten Steve's mom and say, "Trick or threat!" She screams and runs into the kitchen. You and your friends follow her, but she locks the door. Your mom is trapped outside. You go back upstairs. The three of you are now alone in the house. > You take a Ouija board out of your backpack. You, Alan and Daniel take out the ouija board and play a game. After you are done playing, you hide under Steve's bed. You grab a Playboy that you find in there. You open the playboy and see that for this issue Steve's mom was the centerfold. You are traumatized and scarred for life. You spend the remainder of the night under Steve's bed, crying. The next morning, you wake up and realize it is already 10:00 AM. You are awaken by the shaking of Steve's bed. "Go away, Steve," you say groggily. "It's your mom," Steve replies. "She's here to pick you up." You stay under Steve's bed for the next week, your Mom gets worried and comes over to talk to you. You are still traumatized, so you poke her eyes out. The real Kool-Aid Man bursts through Steve's bedroom wall and yells, "Oh yeah! What do we have here, an imposter? Only enough room in the town for one Kool-Aid Man!" The real Kool-Aid Man kills the imposter. "Mom?" you say as you come out from under the bed. "Yes honey?" "Who's this?" You say, "It's the real Kool-Aid Man, run for your life!" You and your Mom run out of the house, but the Kool-Aid Man chases you. "Oh yeah! You'll never outrun me!" > You throw a rock at the Kool-Aid Man, and it cracks his glass body. The Kool-Aid Man dies instantly. "Oh my God!" you say. "I think I killed the Kool-Aid Man." You and your Mom walk over to the dead body. You drink spilled Kool-Aid in an attempt to become the new Kool-Aid Man. Your body starts to transform, your Mom screams! You get a Kool-Aid Beard, your bones become cartilage. Your transformation is complete, you are now the new Kool-Aid Man! > You say "Mom, do you still love me as the Kool-Aid Man?" Your Mom smiles. "Of course I do." You put your Mom in the drink. "Now that I've killed you and turned you into a beverage, I am ready to repopulate the Kool-Aid Man's world! You spray kool-aid powder into the pools of your neighbors. Your children start to rise from the kool-aid-dated waters. "Drink!" you shout, spraying the Kool-Aid Man powder into the air. You create an entire army of Kool-Aid Men. "Go forth and multiply, my brethren," you say. You create a Kool-aid matriarchy. Your army soon takes over the town and enslaves humanity. They force you to drink vast amounts of kool-aid every day. You say, "Oh yeah!" and all your followers begin to chant that. Suddenly a group of human rebels appear from the sewer armed with gelatin. "Death to the Kool-aid army!" they shout. A bloody battle commences. You are shot with ten thousand gelatin bullets and your head is blown off. The end. The moral of the story: Drink something that isn't Kool-aid. You have reached the "Amusing" ending.
John, a guy who has less than 24 hours to find a Halloween costume
Posted under Episode 205, Story On By Chief