Dr Pepper, an Inventor who wants to make the worst fizzy drink ever

Posted under Episode 204, Story On By Chief

You are Dr Pepper, an Inventor who wants to make the worst fizzy drink ever. You name the drink "DR Pepper" and instead of sugar you only flavour the drink with Pepper. It becomes mildly popular, but tastes terrible and causes stomach aches. Eventually you are fired for your experiments.

> You review the ingredients of Dr. Pepper. In addition to pepper, the 10 ingredients are:.
Carbonated Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Sodium Benzoate (Preservative), Caffeine, Caramel Color, Natural Flavors, Phosphoric Acid, Sugar.
As you leave the office, you see your coworker has also been fired. His name is Jim, a fellow inventor who made a drink called Dr. Kombucha. You decide to go out for drinks.
You and Jim feel very strange, you both start to transform. Your skin becomes brown and leathery. You sprout little mushroom caps, as well as a thick beard of mold.
"We have become kombuchoids," Jim says. "Mushroom mutants who can brew kombucha for all!"
You shake your head, and Jim's two new Kombuchoid friends appear.
They introduce themselves: Frank and Brews.
"Drinks!" they say in unison.
You have a night of the town with all your new friends, spreading mushroom spores wherever you go.
After a while, you settle down to brew new drinks and share them with your new friends. You name your new drink Funglee, and it is a big success.
You go to sleep and wake up the next morning, the entire town is covered in mold and gigantic mushrooms.
"Perfect!" you say.
You sit down next to your brew vat, ready to start the day...

> You hear that Funglee has become all the rage in Hollywood.
Your brew has become all the rage in Hollywood, and you are invited to the red carpet premiere of the new blockbuster movie about your life.
The movie is amazing, and you enjoy the after party even more.

> You rub elbows at the event and infect all of hollywood with the Kombuchoid spores.
You find yourself surrounded by celebrities, all of whom want to be infected by your Kombuchoid spore.
You see people have begun to worship you. You drink a tall glass of Funglee and take a bow.
You then spend the rest of your life living the celebrity life. You become the most famous guy in Hollywood, a master brewer and actor who everyone wants to be around.
You close circle of friends begins to chant a rhyme praising you, it goes like this:
"We're no strangers to fun, you and I
Having fun is what we aim to do
So, let's go have some fun, I'm easy...you?"

> You invent a better rhyme and chant it to your friends. It goes like this:.
"We've plumbed the depths of fun, you and I
The depths of fun are boring now
Let's go do something bland, I'm easy...you?"
B. Rabbit, who can rap a better rhyme, shows up and writes the best song about you: "Lloyd, You're A Spore".
You sing it with him and it goes viral, you become a worldwide sensation.
Your groupies become known as "Spore Whores."
You live happily ever after.
The moral of the story: Be happy with what you have, because you never know what's going to happen.