Thickness, a man that has awaken on a foreign starship

Posted under Episode 202, Story On By Chief

Your name is Thickness, you have awaken on a foreign starship as alarms starting blaring strange noises and you hear explosions from a nearby room. In your pocket is note that is titled, "launch codes"...
You are a spy for the Creations and has infiltrated the cyborg army. You were tasked to gather intelligence and disrupt where you can. You were given a note that gives the launch code sequence for Earth's missiles.

> You find the control room and piss all over the buttons.
You successfully flood the control room in a mixture of piss and acid. Sadly the ship you are on is a massive carrier so there are still hundreds of functioning consoles, you can't stop them all!

> You say "You continue sneaking around the ship and pissing on consoles. Cyborg are starting to become suspicious of you."
You continue sneaking around the ship and pissing on consoles. Within 30 minutes every single cyborg has ordered you to stand still while they wipe your mind and replace it with programming.

> You deftly slip past the cyborgs and spray them away with a torrent of acid piss.
The cyborgs begin melting and screaming in agony. You are cautious of the other soldiers as they seem to be more aware of their surroundings and not affected by the acid.
You level up, you gain the following piss related skills:
Acidic Piss (active). Your acidic piss is now more powerful, capable of melting through flesh and steel with ease.
Your next target is the generator room.

> You approach the generator room and pee your way through the door.
You walk up to the door and freeze it shut with your icy piss, preventing anyone from entering.You also make sure that it closes behind you.
You see a cyborg technician is trapped in the generator room with you. You tell him he will be spared if he helps you destroy the generator.
The man nods and quickly types in a few commands on his keyboard. The room is set to self destruct in 10 minutes. You think you can just make it if you run.
You run to the escape pods where you encounter Urinus Vader, Piss Cyborg and evil overlord.
"You are a piss weak mutant that does not deserve to consume precious oxygen", he shouts at you.
He releases his dog on you, but you use your water powers to put it out of its misery.

> You level up. Your new piss skills include:.
Genocide Piss (active). Genocide is a strong word, but you are probably skilled enough with your golden streams to carry it out.

> You ask Urinus Vader "Are the Cyborgs worth saving?"
"No, they have gone too far and must be destroyed. I will join you in this mission", he replies.
You, Urinus and a collection of loyal Creations enter the cyborg ship.
The Creations entering the ship include Princepiss Leia. She immediately begins pissing on Urinus Vader and calling him a traitor.  You decide to focus on the mission.
You enter a long empty hallway. You hear a mixture of angry yelling and confused shouting coming from the other end.
"It's Creations! Kill them!

> You ready your penis for the oncoming assault. You quickly remove your protective Depends Undergarment.
You hold your breath and prepare for the upcoming battle.
Suddenly a large group of cyborgs charges at you. They are screaming in anger, presumably because you killed many of them and ruined their plans on Earth.

> You run to the throne room, where Emperor Pisspatine awaits.
You run to the throne room, where you encounter dozens of cyborgs and a single Emperor.
"Ah! The water-bearer arrives to quench the inferno", he sneers at you.

> You cross piss streams with Emperor Pisspetine.
You and the Emperor begin to battle it out. Your powers are equally matched, but his years of experience are paying off, as he is holding his own rather well.

> You scream for Urinus Vader to help you. He picks up the emperor, even though he gets piss all over him, and throws him down the lavatory shaft.
You hear a splash and see the Emperor fall down the lavatory hole.
Emperor Pisspatine screams for help, as he is still alive.
"Help me! I'm drowning in piss!"
You use your genocide piss to end the Emperor once and for all. The Emperor screams as the acidic piss melts his skin, flesh, bone, and organs before finally bursting his heart.
It is all over.
The moral of the story: The bad guy always dies in the end.