Dominic Godfries, a man who inherited his uncles massive house

You are Dominic Godfries, a man who inherited his uncles massive house. You don't know what to do with it and nobody wants to buy it from you. One day you're trying to find out how many rooms you have to use when suddenly you hear...

"Hey, I'm talking to you!"

You look around and see a little bird...

"Uh, hello?

> You the little bird tells you he has lived in this house a long time.
"Oh yes, I'm sure you have," you say. "I bet you remember a lot about it. In fact, tell me everything that has ever happened in this house.
You ask the bird, "What were my Uncle's final words?".
"He died," the bird tells you. "That's it. He died. That's why this place is empty now. You have nobody to sell this place to now.

> You ask the bird if there are any secret rooms.
"Everyone always asks me that," the bird says. "I told you; I'm a man who answers questions. Why don't you ask the other people in the house?"
"What other people?"
The bird tells you that the servants live here and come with the house. You go to kitchen and meet with the cook, Goldentusk, a racoon wearing a chefs hat and tossing garbage into a cauldron.
"Who are you?" he barks.

> You say "I'm the owner's grandson. I own this home now, sir"
"Ah, I see," Goldentusk says. "I want to add that this house has been abandoned for a long time, and I have made it my home. I've filled the rooms with my children."
You go to checkout the master bedroom is filled with little baby racoons. Also there is a rare Sister Act 2 poster that you inherited from your uncle. You decide to pretend you don't see it and go back downstairs.
In the living room, you find a calm racoon with gray fur. He is drinking tea and reading Jane Austin.

> You sit down and ask the old racoon "Who are you, sir?"
He puts his book down and says "I'm Goldentusk. I have lived in this house a long time, and now you are here, I'd like to know what brings you here."

> You get upset and tell the raccoons they have to leave. Just then you see Tony, a human guy who broke into the house so he could get a closer look at the Sister Act 2 poster.
You are ready to fight when......
"Who is it?" a voice cries out.

> You turn in the direction of the voice and see...
"Who is it?" cries the woman again.
As you step forward, the woman stares at you in horror and screams.
It's your Grandma who you thought died years ago.
"Grandma?" you mouth silently.
You look at the bed and see a man, presumably your Grandfather.
Your grandmother blushes, and says, "Don't tell your grandfather."
Tony pulls out a gun and points it at your head.
Who will you shoot?
You can't decide, so you go for the door...
The door swings open and you are face to face with your Uncle, who not dead and was just testing you.
"Ha! I knew you'd pass the test, I'm your Uncle and I know everything!"
You are confused and tell him so.
"What's going on?"
You see your other Uncle, Uncle Tupelo, appear and tell you why they did it.
"We wanted to see if you could spot the lies and the liars."
"What does this all mean?"
"The house you inherited is cursed," says Uncle Tupelo.

> You say "How do I break curse?"
"You must pass the test," says Uncle Tupelo. "We'll be watching you. You need to find the owner of the voice you hear in your dreams."
"Who is it?
Your third appears, who is half-man, half-racoon, along with your forth uncle, who is 75% raccoon.
"We are!" they cry in unison.
"If you can find the owner of the voice in your dreams, you can save Montgomery county from being cursed forever."
You awake in a cold sweat.

> You look down and see you have pissed your bed.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" you scream at the top of your lungs.
"It's a dream," says a soothing female voice.
You wake up and look around, still hearing the voice.
You look around and see it's actually Tony, the voice in your dream who always gets boneyzoned.
"Shut up," you say.
"What'd you say?" he replies.
"SHUT UP!" you yell.
He shuts up and looks at you strangely.
You take a 23 and me test and the results come back confirming you are raccoon by this percent:
You don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You continue to stare around the room, as if you could spot the hidden cameras.
"Is someone watching me?" you scream. "Is this a joke?"
The moral of the story: stay off the meth.