Virtual Jason, principle of Albany Highschool

Posted under Episode 201, Story On By Chief

You are Jason. You are the principle of Albany Highschool. Three students, Tony, Jim, and Cory, have just been sent to your office because they were caught smoking in the bathroom. You tell the three boys to come into your office and sit down. You begin to tell the boys...

You ask them why they were smoking in the bathroom.

The boys don't give you a clear answer. You tell them smoking is very dangerous and that they should put the cigarette out right now.
Jim blows smoke in your face and says, "Why don't you make me?"
slam your fist down on the table and call their parents.

You tell the boys to leave and never let them back to your school.
The three boys leave school and steal your car outside.
You have to take the bus home, your wife screams at your being late and storms out of the house crying.
Nevermind, forget it, you're not going to become a teacher.

> You after dinner you beg your wife for sex.
She says she is too upset to even think about it.
She throws you out of the house.
You're still not going to become a teacher.

> You get a tent out of the garage and sleep on the lawn. You reveal your troubled past to your neighbor over the fence.
The next morning, you go to school as usual. You are immediately called into the principle's office. Once again, you find yourself seated across from three serious-looking teenagers. "Do you know these young men?"
It's Jim, Tony, and Cory, and they are smoking and look like they could care less. You ask the police, "What did they do now?"
"Do you know these young men?"
The police tell you to leave. You are never going to become a teacher.
You have reached the "Game Over" screen.
You see the kids standing outside smoking, you walk up to Jim and ask, "How can be as cool as you kids?"
he says, "Don't be a teacher."
Jim offers you drugs and you accept.
The End
You have reached the "Game Over" screen.
You throw down your tie and lose your mind. You wake up naked on a park bench in Canada, 300 miles away from home.
You sit there, thinking of the events that led you here. You think about what you could have done different.

> You see moose semen on your pants and try to remember what happened.
You step into the men's room, the cool air hitting your face instantly. You hear a weird gurgling noise coming from one of the toilets. "Probably another shitty day for that poor bastard,"
You ask the man to borrow his cellphone because you are in big trouble and you don't know how you got here.
He says, "No," and runs out of the bathroom.
You hear police sirens. You try to open the door but it's locked. You know they are coming for you.

> You the police arrest you for having sex with a moose.
You are taken to the local Police station. They interrogate you for hours, you try to explain what happened but you are not believed.

> You spend your time in jail eating buttered butter bread. you ask the guard if he would like a piece of buttered butter bread.
They throw you in a jail cell for the night. The next morning, they take you to court. The judge looks at you and laughs. You realize he is the same man that rung your doorbell last night.
You plea with the judge to just let you go home.
The judge sentences you to become a professional wrestler.
You have reached the "Game Over" screen.
The moral of the story: moose sex is bad.