You are famous film director and serial slasher Steven Spielblood. You are on the set of the latest Friday The 13th movie. The night before shooting the finale, the actor playing Jason goes missing, along with the entire special effects department. With the production already way behind schedule, there's only one way to save the movie. You assume the role of Jason and prepare to perform the kills for real! You are dressed in a cheap mask and a ratty old robe. You remember that the first victim is hiding out in a cabin in the middle of the woods. > You sneak up to the cabin window. You see the actress inside the shower. You smash the window open with a rock and pull the screaming woman into the cabin. You grab a nearby hatchet and cut her head in half at the neck. You level up your serial killer powers, you gain the following skills: Boning, Boning, Eviscerating , and Decapitation. You see a girl hiding in the back of the cabin. > You ask the girl if she wants to perform consensual boning. The girl screams and runs out of the cabin. You hear a voice in your head telling you to kill her. You hack off her fingers as she runs away. You follow the trail of blood and fingers to the main road. You see a truck stop to help the girl, it's Cory, a detective who is investigating murder cases. You strike his head clean off! The police assume their killer is a man and stop searching for the murderer. You level up. You gain the following slasher skills: Boning, Decapitating, and Gruesomeness. Congratulations, you have won the game. > You carry Cory's head in a duffel bag. The voice in your head talks through him now. The End You chose you boning subclass: Gruesomeness This sub-skill gives you the ability to take body parts from victims and hide them in unlikely locations. It also makes hiding bodies inside victims much easier. You track the fingerless girl to another cabin full of college aged cast members hiding in a closet. You start sawing off their heads and hiding them in the closet. You grab Cory's head from your duffle bag and lean in for a kiss. You vomit all over his face. "Choked on a body part again?" the voice in your head laughs. > You cut head off a cast member and time how long the body runs around. "Which head will provide the longest period of time for the body to be useful?" you ask your boyfriend. The neck and spine disconnect when you cut, and the head falls to the ground. You clock the time it took to hit the ground: 3 minutes and 24 seconds. You set a new world record! The remaining survivors band together and attempt to fight you with various items around the cabin. You swing your axe and kill them all! You spend the rest of the day hiding body parts in unlikely places. You hide them in ten unusual places: under rocks, inside other corpses, and various other places. You steal a car and drive to your luxurious new mansion with your boyfriend. > You buy Cory a Gucci duffel to put his head in. You drive to the hospital and butcher everyone there. You steal a new car and drive to a store that sells high quality duffel bags. You buy a $2000 bag and drive back to the hospital. You shove heads into heads until you have all the heads in your new duffel bag. You drive back to your mansion and hide the bag in your walk-in closet. You hear a knock on the door of your mansion. "This is the police, we have found you DNA at the scenes of multiple murders, come out with your hands up!" You hear a shotgun racking a round into place. You begin forming a head snake from all the severed heads and start swinging it like a mace at the police officers storming your mansion. The head snake flies out of your window and into the sky.You sneak out of the mansion while the police are distracted. You drive out of your garage and to the airport. You board a plane and flee the country. The FBI has issued a warrant for your arrest. You decide to live in hiding for the rest of your life. You hide at an abandoned moron camp site. You spend your life watching reality TV, reading the newspaper, and whittling. You whittle a duffel bag head to remember Cory by. The end. The moral of the story: be nice to nerds. You've reached the "T for Tolerance" ending. The population of the moron camp is: 0 NERDS! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA 1 LOSER! WE SENT A WINNER, BUT YOU'RE OK, THOUGH, BECAUSE YOU HELPED THE WINNER.
Famous Film Director and Serial Slasher Steven Spielblood
Posted under Episode 199, Story On By Chief