Creature from the Black Lagoon

Posted under Episode 199, Story On By Chief

You are the Creature from the Black Lagoon. You love living in the Black Lagoon, but you hate people dumping stuff in the lagoon without your permission. One day, an IPS truck driver, named Doug Heffernan, drives to the Black Lagoon. He is sick of delivering packages, so he dumps a truckload of packages into the Black Lagoon. You decide to confront Doug.  You decide to scare him with your weird, green face. When he sees your face, he screams in terror. You jump on him and devour him whole.
Mr Biggs, Egotistical Real Estate CEO, purchases the Black Lagoon and plans to turn them into Swamp Condos. You must find another home. You move to the Amazon Rainforest, where you live happily ever after.
The indigenous people of the Amazon think you are a monster and fear you. They sacrifice virgin women to you. You accept their sacrifices and live out the rest of your life in the Amazon until you die of old age.
One of the Virgin sacrifices asks you for pity, and you show her mercy by not killing her. You ask her to be your queen, and she agrees.
Once the virgin becomes queen she tells you, "There are going to be some changes around here." She helps pass a law that prevents any more virgin sacrifices and sets you on a pedestal to be worshipped as a God, rather than constantly killing you.
You are put on trial for killing Doug Heffernan.
Doug's wife, Keri, shows up to testify against you. You are so nervous when you see her, you regurgitate Doug's body. The Jury is disgusted by you and find you guilty of first degree murder.
You are sentenced to death. The execution is a lethal injection.
You have special create powers, they are:
The power of Flight
The power of Mind Control
You decide to use your powers to fight crime and end all crime in the World.
You fly around the World, using your powers to fight crime.
But they are creature powers, which are:
The power of Flight
The power of Mind Control
The power of animal communication
The power of superhuman strength
You decide to use your powers to fight crime and end all crime in the Black Lagoon.

> You use your mind controls to make the Amazonians believe you are dead, then you return the Black Lagoon, which is now a condo development.
The Amazonians believe the Creature is dead. He's really been living in the Black Lagoon all along!
You use your powers of animal communication to make the swamp mosquitos attack the condo developers and condo tenants. They all flee the Black Lagoon. You, the Colossal Cave Fish, and the Mosquito live happily ever after in the Black Lagoon, now free of people.
You have saved the day!
You ask the Colossal Cave Fish what he wants to do to celebrate.
"I'm a cave fish," he says. "I don't know. What do you want to do?"

> You put your hand on Cave Fish's thigh and wink.
Your move is successful. The two of you disappear into the water and enjoy your after party together.
The next morning you wake up to ten thousand fertilized creature eggs that all start to hatch.
You find a nice cave and live happily ever after.
You have saved the day!
The moral of the story: Sometimes it's just easier to find a nice cave and settle down.