Special Agent Zombie Dave driving a bus through Halloween Town

Posted under Episode 198, Story On By Chief

You are special agent Zombie Dave driving a bus through Halloween Town. There is a bomb on the bus that will detonate if the bus goes below 50mph. The bus is full of spooky characters such as...

6 Sexy witches

4 Undead pirates

A sexy zombie

5 Sexy zombies

3 Ghosts

2 Evil clowns

Luckily you've got a special cargo holding area in the back.
You hand the wheel over to one of the sexy zombies and head to the cargo area where you see 10 more spooky characters:

2 Draculas

3 Sexy ghosts

1 Sexy witch

4 Zombies

You lock the doors and find that the cargo seems to be lost in the dark.

> You turn on your flashlight.
You shine a light on the characters in the cargo bay. It's hard to see as they are all shaded, but you manage to figure out which characters should go in the back.

> You put all the sexy monsters up front. You put all the ugly monsters in the cargo area.
You return to the driver's seat and continue driving. Soon, you have several characters in the front, and many more in back who haven't been chosen yet.

> You install a disco ball and a stripper pole in the bus.
The bus is rocking. The monsters in the cargo bay have proven to be especially motivated by the sexy atmosphere you created, and have all escaped into the front of the bus, where an orgy is currently taking place.

> You look at the orgy and see...
4 Sexy witches
3 Sexy zombies
2 Draculas
1 Ghost
You accidentally drop the empty beer cans on the ground, and quickly scurry to pick them up.
You look and see that no one is driving the bus and a pumpkin is holding the gas down.  You quickly drive the bus to a safe place without hitting anything.

> You ask everyone on the bus "Who knows how to disarm a bus?"
Nobody knows what to do. You're all doomed!
A ghost asks if you'd like to play a game of chess. You love chess, and it will help pass the time as you all drive towards certain doom.

> You ask for an ugly volunteer to defuse the bomb.
Nobody volunteers. You begin to suspect that some of the people on this bus are just too pretty to be smart.
You choose The Grim Reaper, Chess Grandmaster and ugliest monster on the bus.
You and the Grim Reaper walk to the front of the bus. You tell him that if you die, he dies too. You're not sure it's true, but he doesn't know that.
The Grim Reaper goes under the bus while it's still moving and attempts to disarm the bomb, you kick off the busy and he dies. The Grim Reaper is now dead, so no can die! Time to party!!!
Unfortunately, the bus crashes and you all die.
The Grim Reaper escorts you to the Afterlife. You wait at the River Styx, which is backed up with all the dead people waiting to cross.  The boat to take you across never comes, and you wait in line for over three hundred years before a vacancy opens up. You finally reach Elysium, where you live happily ever after.
The end.
You see Betelgeuse in Elysium. He is the president of your building's condo board.  You need to kill him because he turns out to be a power-hungry bastard who increased everyone's dues.
With the help of the Grim Reaper, you kill Betelgeuse and take his place.
You level up, you gain the following zombie skills: Thievery Sneakyness Destruction Charisma
You now have 150 skill points to divide up however you please.
You're ready to roll the dice and find out what happens!
You roll the dice. You get a one.
The naked, decapitated head of Betelgeuse appears in the sky above you.
The head opens its mouth and says...
"I'm melting! I'm melting! Oh, what a world! What a world!"
You are splattered on the sidewalk below.
The end.

> You spend all your skill points to cast a resurrection spell on yourself.
You spend all your skill points, but you can't remember the incantation.
You try to remember the incantation and you spend all your skill points.
You look at the back of your hand and see you have the incantation written down, it says:
"Man Raman Rama Raman Rama Man Raman Rama Raman Rama!!"
You try to remember the incantation and you spend all your skill points.
A giant bowl ramen appears in front you.  It has a cute face on it and its singing for you.
You die.
The moral of the story: Limit your video game playing time.